Talk:Jury Duty (The Office)/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Glimmer721 (talk · contribs) 21:52, 1 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Comments:

Explain who Pam is in the lead (his wife? actress?) and wikilink if possible
""Jury Duty" received mostly mixed-to-positive reviews from critics" - "mostly" is irrelevent; nothing was really negative, so it was all mixed or positive
"...and proves to stress that they are "able to dance"." I don't quite understand that. Is he proving to stress that it is better to dance, or his he stressing that dancing is okay? Etc.
"So, he has a CD and plays the song and makes a mess in the warehouse." Avoid sentences that begin with "So". Could use a rewrite anyway.
"...and learns that, in his absence, many of his co-workers were forced to make up for his absence" - change second "absence" to another word
"The episode was viewed by an estimated 5.31 million viewers..." Start with "In the US" to clarify that these are NBC's ratings, not GlobalTV's which was the subject of the previous sentence.
New York Post needs to be italicized
"in the right direction for the show -- which, let's be honest" Needs to be an em-dash
Link Steve Carell
"He also complimented...He also praised" Rewrite to avoid repetition, or combine sentences
"Not all reviews were so positive. Several critics gave the episode a mixed review." -> "However, several critics gave the episode a mized review".
Dates on ref #8 are not consistent with the others
Refs #12, 13, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, and 22 need published dates

I believe I've addressed all the concerns. Thank you for taking time to review this.--Gen. Quon (talk) 02:18, 3 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]