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Talk:Jurassic Park (film)/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: FunkMonk (talk · contribs) 04:28, 13 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

 Done I believe that I have resolved this. QatarStarsLeague (talk) 03:44, 14 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Hi, you're not the nominator as far as I can see? Is this a co-nomination? FunkMonk (talk) 05:12, 14 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Sorry if I didn't reply. Fixed the Dinosaurs section and am waiting for the next comments! igordebraga ≠ 02:59, 15 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

  • I've made many small changes throughout, the language is too informal in places.
Alright. QatarStarsLeague (talk) 06:22, 15 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The film centers on the fictional Isla Nublar" Specify it is an island, this is English Wikipedia. Or just write "a fictional island", the name is irrelevant in the intro.
 Done QatarStarsLeague (talk) 06:22, 15 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Spielberg funded the creation of DTS." Specify what it is. Not sure if the sentence it is necessary in the lead, though.
 Done QatarStarsLeague (talk) 06:22, 15 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • "(including 3 Academy Awards)" Link.
See the Accolades section. QatarStarsLeague (talk) 06:22, 15 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]
 Done
  • "as well as a landmark in the use of computer-generated imagery. " As well as in animatronics, surely?
 Done QatarStarsLeague (talk) 06:22, 15 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • "He knew that once I had directed Schindler I wouldn't be able to do Jurassic Park." Any reason why?
Given that he was the president of a major Hollywood studio, I would assume so. I suspect it is because Schindler's List would have completed the transition of Spielberg from a blockbuster progenitor to arthouse director, so that he could not return to a tentpole film. Regardless, I cannot alter a quote to mention this, nor provide references for speculation. QatarStarsLeague (talk) 06:22, 15 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]
checkY Removed the quote. igordebraga ≠ 05:46, 23 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • "as Horner complained they had no way of doing that." Too informal, "because it was implausible" or some such would be better.~
 Done
  • "were still used by the production for knowing how the dinosaurs should move correctly." For supervising.
 Done
  • "now also had an ending where the T. rex doing a "King Kong roar" "Doing" is bad writing. And does the source say "King Kong roar", whatever that is? "Roaring" is enough.
    • Yes, Spielberg describes it that way (it's the documentary from the Blu-Ray). Anyway, checkY Tried to reword it a bit more.
  • "The film wrapped twelve days ahead of schedule on November 30,[5][36][37]" Why are three sourced needed for this uncontroversial fact?
checkY Cut to just one.
  • "to allow themselves to animate the characters traditionally." "Traditionally" doesn't mean anything on its own, I guess you mean as traditional stop motion animation.
 Done
  • During the process, Spielberg would fly during weekends" During during.
 Done
  • "and it was conducted a month later." And recorded, conducting doesn't mean anything on its own in this context.
 Done
  • "The screenplay acknowledges this when Dr. Grant describes the ferocity of the Velociraptor to a young boy, saying "Try to imagine yourself in the Cretaceous period..." The source says nothing about acknowledgement, it just has the line form the film. So it is either original research, or needs another source.
 Done
  • "The dinosaur is depicted with a vision system based on movement.[53] Its roar is a baby elephant mixed with a tiger and an alligator, and its breath is a whale's blow.[44] A dog attacking a rope toy was used for the sounds of it tearing a Gallimimus apart.[7] The T. rex footsteps were taken from the sound of cut sequoias crashing to the ground.[11]" Many short sentences in succession, try to merge.
 Done
  • "holding its head high into the air (which would have resulted in its passing out)" This is outdated science. What does the source say?
checkY Removed.
 Done
  • We don't need all this detail, move it to Sequels and merchandise: "They consisted of the two-issue Raptor, the four-issue Raptors Attack and Raptors Hijack, and Return to Jurassic Park, which lasted nine issues. All published issues were republished under the single title Jurassic Park Adventures in the United States and as Jurassic Park in the United Kingdom."
 Done
  • was the only of his works he had considered a conversion" For a conversion?
 Done
  • Not all awards have citations.
 Done
  • There are overlink problems throughout. Check that words are only linked the first time they occur.
    •  Done
  • "One of the Ford Explorers featured in the film" Who says this particular car was used in the film?
checkY Reworded.
  • "Stanley Kubrick, the director of 2001: A Space Odyssey, contacted Spielberg to direct A.I. Artificial Intelligence." No context given. Why is it relevant?
 Done
  • "Filmmaker Werner Herzog was similarly impressed, citing the movie as an example of Spielberg being a "great storyteller" and that he knows how to weave special effects into coherent stories." That is not what he says, those are general statements about Spielberg's movies, not just this one.
checkY Removed.

On the way to doing all this. igordebraga ≠ 16:04, 15 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Cleaned the article a bit more. igordebraga ≠ 05:46, 23 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

There are still a few unaddressed comments above, you may have fixed them in the article, but they should be "crossed" here as well, so I can be sure. FunkMonk (talk) 18:18, 24 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Alright, checked them all. igordebraga ≠ 21:52, 24 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

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