Talk:Jungle cat/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Dunkleosteus77 (talk · contribs) 02:48, 29 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Comments by Dunkleosteus77

Specific comments

~~when describing the eyes, is it when the pupils are dilated (really big)?~~

The source does not mention that.

if it eats fruits, isn't it omnivorous?

Fruit-eating is supported by only one source, and I am not sure how common fruits are in the diet; almost all other sources present it as a carnivore. So I said "primarily" a carnivore. Any ideas?

you could say 'suggesting it is omnivorous' or try finding other sources about this

Took first suggestion. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 04:16, 2 May 2016 (UTC)[reply]

~~does "not recieve legal protection" mean there aren't any consequences for killing one, because Myanmar is listed to prohibit hunting but not give legal protection?~~

Good catch, corrected.

Lead

The lead is exceedingly short (two sentences). Increase it by adding info about the taxonomic history, description, and behaviour. Basically, anything in the article should have at least a brief mention in the lead. User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk 02:48, 29 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

No idea how I overlooked this, done.

Some parts of the lead are now a little over-specific now, and can be trimmed down a bit. For example, change "Baltic German naturalist" to "German naturalist" or even just "naturalist" and "Two moults can be observed in a year" can be "Moults can occur twice per year" or "Moults occur biannually" User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk 19:39, 30 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Good idea, trimmed a bit.

remove "(typically five days long)", and you never mention threats or conservation efforts

Removed that, but I do mention threats and conservation efforts in the last para of the lead of every article I work on. It is a major part of the article. The lead is not too large for the article either, in my view. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 04:29, 2 May 2016 (UTC)[reply]

"Typically diurnal (active mainly during the day), the jungle cat hunts throughout the day" this is redundant

I want to say that hunting is the main activity throughout the day, perhaps I should remove "(active mainly during the day)"?

yes

Done. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 04:29, 2 May 2016 (UTC)[reply]

You keep putting the dependent clause first. Nothing wrong grammatically, it just reads weird after the second time (more-so here since the dependent clause is first in two consecutive sentences). Try using this once per paragraph

Working...

I have kept an instance in each para, as I remember one FAC where editors used a lot of this in the lead as it looked better to them. I don't know if it is really weird, but I personally like this style. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 04:29, 2 May 2016 (UTC)[reply]

General comments

~~I don't think you're supposed to wikilink country names~~

Perhaps not for common or obvious countries such as USA or UK. But I have linked countries in several articles of mine, and this article links a much fewer number than in others.

~~change "A member of the genus Felis, that consists of small cats..." to "A member of the genus Felis, which consists of small cats..."~~

Done

~~for "weighs 2–16 kilograms (4.4–35.3 lb)", I don't think the decimals places are necessary. If you're using template {{convert}}, add the parameter |sigfig=1. This is optional~~

I do this and find this done in few articles. If you think it would be useful, I can do this here.

You inconsistently use the serial comma (*comma* and)

Working...

Fixed many, but others are mainly to separate parts of the sentence, and not exactly the "A, B, and C" case (for instance, the comma in The cat is primarily a carnivore, and prefers small mammals is for clarity). I have seen this done often and have done this myself in many articles. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 04:42, 2 May 2016 (UTC)[reply]

reword "A 2014 study of albino jungle cats in the coastline tracts of the southern Western Ghats showed that, unlike true albinos that have red eyes, but this trait was not obvious in the observed animals"

Fixed.

~~reword "lighter in summer is than in winter"~~

Fixed.

"Typically diurnal (active mainly during the day), the jungle cat hunts throughout the day", redundant

Reply as in similar point above

~~"are taken as well" replace "taken" with "hunted" or "preyed upon" or some other synonym of those~~

Done

replace "32 km/h (20 mph)" with "at 32 km/h (20 mi/h)" or "at 32 kph (20 mph)"

I am using the convert template here, not sure how to change its wording as it may interfere with the syntax.

change km/h to kph

Doesn't seem to be working. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 04:42, 2 May 2016 (UTC)[reply]

~~wikilink "riparian"~~

Done

"~~Hence it is often known as the "reed cat" or the "swamp cat". Reeds and tall grasses are typical of its habitat", switch these sentences and/or merge them~~

Done

~~don't start a sentence with "but"~~

There was only one, fixed.

References

~~When naming volume numbers, do not use roman numerals. This is used in ref. no 22, 23, and 25~~
~~Is the |location= parameter necessary?~~

It is, while citing books.

for ref no. 4 (Güldenstädt), add the parameter |language=Russian

for ref no. 10 (Zukowsky), add the parameter |language=German

for ref no. 11 (Heptner), a free version is available at this url: https://archive.org/stream/mammalsofsov221992gept/mammalsofsov221992gept_djvu.txt

for ref no. 13 (Rüppell), add the parameter |language=German

for ref no. 15 (Brandt), add the parameter |language=French

for ref no. 21 (Severtzov), add the parameter language=French, and the volume number is 2

for ref no. 22 (Fitzinger), add the parameter language=German

for ref no. 24 (Nehring), add the parameter language=German

Fixed all these and more.

Many thanks for taking on this. I have responded to the above issues. Cheers, Sainsf <^>_{Feel at home} 12:40, 30 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

for ref no. 27, a free version is available at this link: https://books.google.com/books?id=hFbJWMh9-OAC&printsec=frontcover#v=onepage&q&f=false, I recommend using template {{Google books}} for this. To use it, {{Google books|plainurl=yes|id=<fill in id given in url (after the "?")>|page=<insert a page number>}}

for ref no. 29, a free version is available at this link: https://books.google.com/books?id=B_07noCPc4kC&printsec=frontcover#v=onepage&q&f=false, also, use page 198 for the |page= parameter (197 is not available)

Done the above two. Thanks, I will use these from now.

~~for ref no. 30, the url is not working for me; is it working for you (because I have slow internet)?~~

Indeed, it is not working. I have replaced the url with this [1].

~~for ref no. 34, a free version is available at this link: https://books.google.com/books?id=ZH6aBAAAQBAJ&pg=PA214&lpg=PA214~~

Done.

for ref no. 35, the url causes a download, and the doi leads to a pdf version of the article. Replace the current url with this link: http://www.threatenedtaxa.org/ZooPrintJournal/2011/November/o271326xi112221-2225.pdf

Done.

~~Are you certain that ref no. 29 (Mammals of Africa) talks about jungle cats in the Himalayas?~~

Yes, checked this. Any trouble?

This article passes User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk 23:26, 3 May 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks a lot! Sainsf (talk · contribs) 06:17, 4 May 2016 (UTC)[reply]