Talk:Jumanji (Azealia Banks song)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: CaliforniaDreamsFan (talk · contribs) 06:56, 29 September 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Hello, my name is CaliforniaDreamsFan, and I'll be reviewing your article! Full review coming soon, so stay tuned!

Add the release year of Fantasea in parentheses.
""Jumanji" is composed as a tropical track with a "strong bass" influenced by kuduro, dancehall, and calypso music." — "Jumanji is composed as a tropical track with musical influences of kuduro, dancehall, and calypso music." Don't add a quote unless there is a reference (having said that, its advised not to have citations in the lead).
Lyrically, Banks "delivers lines about media scandals and keeping true to herself". — Same thing here; try and describe it by saying something like "Lyrically, the song deals with Banks' involvement with media scandals and, as she described, "keeping true to herself".
Add additional details of live performances that track was included into.

Add the release year of Fantasea in parentheses.
Remove quote marks from "Fantastic", as it was considered to be used as an album title.
""Jumanji" is a tropical song with a "strong bass" and elements of kuduro, dancehall, and calypso music." — Same as lead.
There are way too many clunked references in specific sentences (WP:Citation overkill). Try and be descriptive of each critic that sees the track in these identified genres, and expand on it.
"Instrumentally, the song has "ethereal twinkles of a harp", "elephantine trumpet blares", a "loudly clanging timpani", calypso steel drums, and "bomb-tick hi-hats"" — Again, too many sources in a sentence. Try and separate it in a way that individual critics have identified these instruments; example "According to () and () from () and (), they had identified instrumentation of a harp, trumpets, etc. However, () from () noticed the use of "calypso drums".
"Despite the song's title, the song's content is not based on the movie of the same name." — Unless there is a link verifying this statement, I feel this is slightly trivial.
In an article about "Jumanji", Grant Trimboli of Under the Gun Review opined that the song had a "Caribbean vibe"." — Shouldn't this be near the description of genres as stated above?
Unlike "music critic"; you already have it.

When you state anthem; if it is quoted by a critic as an "anthem" or "summer anthem", then use quotation marks.
Everything else is really good.

These are literally two sentences; just try and merge it with the critical reception section, and split that one large paragraph into two.

Are the performances really "notable"? You could probably just say "another performance".

A really good article! On hold for 7 days for additional editing. Please ping me for any inquires or when you have finished! Good luck . CaliforniaDreamsFan (talk · contribs} 04:35, 5 October 2016 (UTC)[reply]