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Talk:Julius Kahn (inventor)/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: GeneralPoxter (talk · contribs) 02:21, 4 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]


Review

[edit]
  • I took the liberty to add internal links where I thought necessary.
  •  Done


  • Kahn was born in Münstereifel, Germany, March 8, 1874. Is this Bad Münstereifel? If so, it should be linked.
  •  Done


  • He worked as an engineer for both the United States Navy and the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers. Until when? Also, it needs a ref, and could be merged with the following paragraph.
  •  Done


  • ... he initiated methods improving the then existing technology of reinforced concrete. How exactly did he "initiate methods"? Did he begin work developing his Kahn Bar then? This needs more clarification.
  •  Done


  • The Jordahl (Jordahl GmbH) Company’s founders, Norwegian Anders Jordahl and his Swedish partner Ivar Kreuger, acquired the marketing rights to the Kahn System in Europe in 1907. This is the first time the "Kahn System" is mentioned in the body of the article, but with no explanation of what exactly it is. I presume (and it is explained on the article for the Kahn system) that it is Kahn's bar, but it should be mentioned explicitly somewhere in the previous paragraph that the development is known as the Kahn system, along with a link to the article.
  •  Done


  • Career section seems to end after the movement of Truscon to Youngstown. 1) When did this move occur? and 2) I recommend moving business/career related details from later sections into this section, and merging the remaining details such as Family life and death into a Personal life and death section.
  •  Done
  • Career and Inventions and impact sections look good to me, but there still seem to be some academic/business-related events in Personal life and death, which could be added into Career instead (this may involve further subsectioning separating Kahn's Truscon/reinforced concrete career from his other interests/ventures if necessary)
  •  Done


  • I would also recommend much of the technical aspects of the Kahn system to Inventions and firsts section, while keeping a mention of when/context of inventing the Kahn system in Career.
  •  Done


  • Kahn's co-workers noted that he would stop whatever he was doing to write down an idea immediately, no matter what else was engaging him... I think this paragraph would be better suited at the end of the first paragraph in Inventions and firsts since it has more to do with Kahn and his inventing.
  •  Done


  • The other two paragraphs in the section are more oriented around the impact of Kahn's inventions rather than just "firsts", so maybe a better section title would be Inventions and impact
  •  Done


  • Also on impact, the last sentence in the lead claims a a plethora of applications for the Kahn system. This could be either moved into the Inventions and impact section or elaborated there. That way, we can take the refs out of the lead (ditto for ref 1).
  •  Done


  • "He was the founder of United Steel Company in Wooster, Ohio, and chairman of Truscon Laboratories in Detroit." Lead claims he was the "founder" of Truscon Laboratories as well. Furthermore, since both of these roles are highlighted in the Lead, I think it would be advisable to elaborate on Kahn's role in these institutions.
  •  Done
    • It appears to me no new elaboration/rewording was made to the article in this respect. Can you highlight which parts were improved? GeneralPoxter (talk • contribs) 21:12, 4 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
    • In Personal life and death I have been able to find he was president of Truscon Steel Company. I did find where they did say he was "president" of Truscon Laboratories, however since I think "chairman" is the same I left only chairman in. All the sources I found so far ONLY say he was "founder" of United Steel Company. I'll do so more research on this today to see what I can find further. --Doug Coldwell (talk) 10:58, 5 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
    • I reworded the lead to say, He also founded United Steel Company and was chairman of Truscon Laboratories. Done extensive research on this and have not been able to find anything further in his roles in United Steel Company other than "founder" and nothing further in his role at Truscon Laboratories other than chairman and president. Previously in 2014 when I created the article and five other related articles on the Kahn system for a 6-in-1 Did You Know, I don't remember any further roles I read in Inter-Library Loan books on Julius about any further roles he played in these entities. --Doug Coldwell (talk) 12:08, 5 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • Instead of including Hy-Rib in the See also, perhaps we can discuss it as a further development of Kahn's trussed bar in the Inventions and impact section.
  •  Done


  • Most of these references appear reliable, with the exception of Ref 27, which appears to be some person's blog. Is it possible to find a more reliable substitution for this source?



Overall, checks most of the criteria for Good Article status (not very experienced with Kahn in particular, but I think the article gives a well-balanced, well-researched, and broad take on his life). Some more work needs to be done on organization, and clarification is needed for some of Kahn's other business interests, so I'm putting this on hold until July 11. GeneralPoxter (talk • contribs) 13:21, 4 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]


  • @Doug Coldwell: The article looks a bit messy still with repeated sentences in Writing and publishing and an incomplete shortref in Inventions and impact. Also, ref 27 (now ref 37) is still in the article. Before I make changes myself, is the "in use" template still needed? GeneralPoxter (talk • contribs) 14:18, 5 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
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