Talk:Julie Croteau/GA1
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Reviewer: GhostRiver (talk · contribs) 17:10, 29 January 2022 (UTC)
Hello! I'll be taking a look at this article for the January 2022 GAN backlog drive. If you haven't already signed up, please feel free to join in! Although QPQ is not required, if you're feeling generous, I also have a list of GA nominations of my own right here.
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Infobox and lede
[edit]- The first sentence is very long and can be split into two. Suggest going with "is a former college and professional baseball first basewoman. She is recognized as the first woman to..." etc.
- Changed. Therapyisgood (talk) 23:03, 2 February 2022 (UTC)
- Split the lede into two paragraphs after "Major League Baseball-sanctioned league"
- Delink "first basewoman" in the sentence beginning "In college," as it was linked earlier
- Delinked. Therapyisgood (talk) 23:03, 2 February 2022 (UTC)
- Comma after "in their inaugural season"
- Write out all of National Baseball Hall of Fame and Museum
- Changed. Therapyisgood (talk) 23:03, 2 February 2022 (UTC)
- Link Cooperstown, New York
- Linked. Therapyisgood (talk) 23:03, 2 February 2022 (UTC)
Playing and coaching career
[edit]- "both
of whom worked aslawyers"- Changed. Therapyisgood (talk) 22:56, 2 February 2022 (UTC)
- Lowercase "tee" in "tee-ball"
- Our article is inconsistent, but changed. Therapyisgood (talk) 22:56, 2 February 2022 (UTC)
- "and, as she got older," → "and as she got older,"
- Changed. Therapyisgood (talk) 22:56, 2 February 2022 (UTC)
and in Major League Baseball (a youth league).
I have absolutely no clue what this means- A youth league called Major League baseball. I changed the caps of "Baseball", hopefully this makes sense now. Therapyisgood (talk) 22:56, 2 February 2022 (UTC)
when she was in high school
redundant phrasing, we know this happened when she was in high school- Changed. Therapyisgood (talk) 22:56, 2 February 2022 (UTC)
- ""for reasons unrelated to gender."" → ""for reasons unrelated to gender"." per [{MOS:LQ]]
- Changed. Therapyisgood (talk) 22:58, 2 February 2022 (UTC)
- "semiprofessional baseball team Fredericksburg Giants" → "semi-professional Fredericksburg Giants baseball team"
- Changed. Therapyisgood (talk) 22:58, 2 February 2022 (UTC)
- "Don't like the "frequently" in quotes per MOS:QUOTEPOV
- Sexual harassment from whom? Teammates, coaches, managers?
- Will look into more. Therapyisgood (talk) 22:56, 2 February 2022 (UTC)
- Found another source and added. Therapyisgood (talk) 23:43, 2 February 2022 (UTC)
- Will look into more. Therapyisgood (talk) 22:56, 2 February 2022 (UTC)
- "After playing in college," → "after playing as an undergraduate"
- Changed. Therapyisgood (talk) 22:56, 2 February 2022 (UTC)
- "from 1995–1996" → "from 1995 to 1996"
- Changed. Therapyisgood (talk) 22:56, 2 February 2022 (UTC)
- Per MOS:ALLCAPS, "UMASS" should be "UMass"
- Changed. Therapyisgood (talk) 22:56, 2 February 2022 (UTC)
Professional baseball
[edit]- "For the Silver Bullets," → "There,"
- Changed. Therapyisgood (talk) 22:48, 2 February 2022 (UTC)
- "over fifty-one" → "over 51" per MOS:NUMERAL
- Changed. Therapyisgood (talk) 22:48, 2 February 2022 (UTC)
- "in fall 1994" → "for their 1994 season"
- Changed. Therapyisgood (talk) 22:48, 2 February 2022 (UTC)
USA Baseball
[edit]- Link United States women's national baseball team and decapitalize everything not "United States"
- Changed. Therapyisgood (talk) 22:39, 2 February 2022 (UTC)
- "2004 Women's World Cup of Baseball" → "2004 Women's Baseball World Cup" with the link
- Changed. Therapyisgood (talk) 22:39, 2 February 2022 (UTC)
- Also link 2006 Women's Baseball World Cup
- Linked. Therapyisgood (talk) 22:39, 2 February 2022 (UTC)
Personal life
[edit]- Again, write out National Baseball Hall of Fame and Museum and link Cooperstown, New York
- Changed. Therapyisgood (talk) 22:45, 2 February 2022 (UTC)
- "Croteau was a baseball double for actress Anne Ramsay, who portrayed first basewoman Helen Haley,[19] in the 1992 Columbia Pictures film A League of Their Own." → "In the 1992 Columbia Pictures film A League of Their Own, Croteau served as a baseball double for actress Anne Ramsay, who portrayed first basewoman Helen Haley."
- Changed. Therapyisgood (talk) 22:45, 2 February 2022 (UTC)
- Comma after ""National Basketball Association" game"
- Changed. Therapyisgood (talk) 22:45, 2 February 2022 (UTC)
References
[edit]- All online refs need access dates; 9, 10, and 11 are missing them
General comments
[edit]- No photos to address
- No stability concerns in the revision history
- Earwig score looks good
Putting on hold to allow nominator to address comments. Feel free to ping me with questions, and let me know when you're finished! — GhostRiver 22:01, 31 January 2022 (UTC)
- @GhostRiver: comments responded to. Therapyisgood (talk) 23:44, 2 February 2022 (UTC)
- Thank you for making those changes! Everything looks good now, happy to pass! — GhostRiver 16:12, 3 February 2022 (UTC)