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Talk:Judy Seigel

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Women in Green 20-Minute Article Assessments

[edit]

I'll have a look at this as per the request at Wikipedia:WikiProject Women in Green/20-Minute Article Assessments. Let me know if you have any questions, Grand'mere Eugene. Regards, BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 19:41, 5 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

  • Copyvio check. Nothing too bad in the few highest matches found using Earwig's Copyvio Detector, but the quote about the female professor's objection to Goya's Naked Maja feels a bit too long and probably could be partly summarised/paraphrased.
  • Images - I'm not sure there is adequate justification for more than one "fair use" image; we'll see what the GA reviewer thinks.
  • I haven't done any spot checks against sources for this review; obviously a GA reviewer would be expected to do that.

Early life and education

  • "BFA" - I think "Bachelor of Fine Arts" would be better here, and you could wikilink to that article.

Career

  • "Cooper Union reported..." - this is not controversial, so I don't think an inline attribution is needed. It would be better to rework this rather than use the full direct quote.

Photography

  • "a legend in the elucidation of the alternative process arts", and "a leading expert in the field" - I think these quote should be attributed inline. (eg. "X called her...")

Writing, editing and publishing

  • See MOS:SECTIONORDER for where Works or publications should be listed in the article.
  • "Gwen Allen quoted Cynthia Navaretta" - it would be helpful to briefly introduce them, e.g. "the arts critic Cynthia Navaretta"
  • "One reviewer wrote" - might as well name the reviewer and the source here. (Same for "Another said..")
  • Reviews - consider removing the subheading and just making this a continuation of the prose. The Morgan quote feels a bit long to me. Have a look at MOS:QUOTE and WP:NPS and see what you think.

Activism

  • As per points above, slightly too reliant on fairly lengthy quotes.
  • I suggest not bulleting the text. See MOS:USEPROSE.
  • "In 2004"/"In 2009" - I suggest varying the start of these.

Lead

  • Very short paragraphs. Can some be combined?
  • Can the lead be expanded a little, e.g. to add in some key points from the Career and Photography sections?
  • "Called a legend in alternative photographic processes," - given the type of claim, we should say who this is attributed to.
  • "She published two books" - add years in parentheses after the books, e.g. 2Sight Lines (1998)"
  • Her date of death is not included in the main part of the article and doesn't seem to have a citation.

Many thanks for your work on the article, Grand'mere Eugene. I think this is close to being ready to be nominated as a GA. I made a few minor tweaks relating to formatting etc; please review those and check that you're happy with them. This isn't a full review so I expect a reviewer would identify improvements that can be made as part of that process. Please let me know if you have any questions. Regards, BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 10:39, 7 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

BennyOnTheLoose, thank you very much for taking the time to offer comments. I've revised the article to reduce the amount of direct quoting, and rearranged the publications sections. I look forward to taking the article forward to GA nomination. Your comments are very helpful! — Grand'mere Eugene (talk) 01:47, 8 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]