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Talk:Josh Walker (footballer, born 1989)/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: Ritchie333 (talk · contribs) 08:38, 29 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Per your request on WT:GAN, I will give this a review. I see one unsourced mention of an injury, but otherwise there are no immediate problems, so I'm happy to do a full review on this. Specific comments will follow. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 08:38, 29 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

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  • Per WP:BLPPRIMARY, findmypast.com cannot be used as a reliable source for a name or a data of birth. We generally assume that if a third party source does not have a full name and age, that the subject does not want it publicly available. There's a Sky Sports source here that can be used.
Used Bengaluru FC site.  Done
  • I think the first paragraph of the lead would be better if it briefly summarised the teams he has played with - I don't believe Bengaluru is the most significant team he's ever played for.
I believe the first paragraph should tell only about where the player plays. Description should be followed in the next paras.
  • The second "Walker" in the third paragraph would read better as "He" Done
  • I wouldn't worry about specific dates for his transfer to Scunthorpe United, just the month will do  Done

Club career

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  • The birth date is in the lead, but not the body. It needs to be in both, with a source in the body. Done
  • There's nothing about Walker's early life and what originally attracted him to football. This probably doesn't need to be anything longer than a sentence, but I think something will need to go in, otherwise the reader could be left with the impression he turned up to Middlesborough Youth Academy on a whim, which he probably didn't!
Unable to find the required information. Many other GAs also dont have this. RRD13 দেবজ্যোতি (talk) 12:28, 30 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • "along with the likes of" - don't need "the likes of" Done
  • The citation to the Middlesborough Youth Academy is a dead link. Were the other players listed all Walker's peers, appearing with him at the same time? If not, I'd question the need to mention them all.
Removed the playersRRD13 দেবজ্যোতি (talk) 16:52, 29 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • "His league debut came on the last game of the 2005–06 season" - worth mentioning (as the source does) that he came on as a substitute in the 62nd minute.
  • For those of us who can only remember him in the context of losing Euro '96 to the Germans, a brief explanation of who Gareth Southgate would be beneficial.
  • I don't recognise soccerbase.com as a source - how we do we know we can trust the information on it?
Chris Smith (footballer, born 1981), Ben Amos, for eg. RRD13 দেবজ্যোতি (talk) 17:45, 29 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Surprisingly, Walker remained at the club" - "I'd leave the 'surprisingly' out"  Done
  • "he started in the club's 2–1 away win" - "the club's" can be "their" in this instance  Done
  • "He returned to Middlesbrough in April 2007 to see if his future lie at the club" - suggest "lay at the club"  Done
  • "also expressed an interest in joining Bournemouth "if Middlesbrough were interested"" - according to the source, Walker didn't say this, Bournemouth FC boss Kevin Bond did. Done
  • "He scored his first goal for Rotherham in the club's 2–1 away defeat to Accrington Stanley" - worth mentioning (as the source does) that he did it from 25 yards? Done
  • "Just four days later, he was on the scoresheet again" - don't need "Just" Done
  • "He made his Stevenage debut" - as we've just mentioned Stevenage, perhaps "his club debut" would be better here? Done
  • "Walker was recalled by his parent club Watford on 23 December, in order to provide cover for the injured Stephen McGinn" - the Watford FC source used here (and for the next sentence) is a dead link  Done
  • "Walker had previously played for Northampton" - suggest "He" instead of "Walker" in this instance  Done
  • The quotation from Graham Westley is a little long and might be better paraphrased  Done
  • "Walker's move to Scunthorpe United permanently has changed to Loan" - I don't think "has" is the right tense here; since as of now he's not playing for any English club  Done
  • "On 18 February 2012" .... "2 days later on 20 February 2012" - I think the "2 days later" is redundant in this case  Done
  • As all of the Scunthorpe United paragraph refers to events in 2012, I would leave the year out following the first mention  Done
  • "Walker extended his loan spell at Scunthorpe for another month after making 5 appearance and scored twice" - should be "appearances" and "scoring two goals" would be more consistent with the rest of the prose
It is.RRD13 দেবজ্যোতি (talk) 12:10, 30 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Walker was injured during the latter part of the 12/13 season and was told he would be freed by Scunthorpe." - this is unsourced  Done
  • "At the end of the 2013–14 season, Walker was released by Gateshead" - suggest "the club" here instead of "Gateshead". Do we have any more information about what happened at Gateshead - details seems to be skipped over when compared to Watford and Sunderland.  Done
  • The Gazzette Live source that cites the transfer to Bengaluru says "There's a fair number of clubs in England that were chasing his signature". It would be worth mentioning that, as the prose gives the impression that Walker went to Bengaluru because he couldn't play anywhere else in England; in fact, the sources gives the impression he made a conscious choice to move to Indian football. Done

Summary

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I think all the action points have been attended to. I've done a bit of copyediting myself, and I can now mark the review as passed. Thanks for the quick response and sorry about the wait! Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 14:43, 30 January 2015 (UTC)[reply]
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