Talk:Josh Beckett/GA1
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Reviewer: Wizardman (talk · contribs) 01:01, 11 November 2014 (UTC)
I'll review this article shortly. Wizardman 01:01, 11 November 2014 (UTC)
Here's the lead and some ref issues to start things off (I had the review almost done until my comp crashed and lost it, so I'll re-do it tomorrow):
- Ref 44 (http://www.boston.com/sports/baseball/redsox/extras/100_random_things_2009/) is a deadlink
- The sportsillustrated.cnn.com links (5 in all) don't work due to their recent change; fix the links. I wouldn't be against just removing the URLs since the site has been a problem at times.
- Add a quick note about his 14 injury+retirement in the lead. Wizardman 02:38, 12 November 2014 (UTC)
- Since the above has been fixed, I will do the rest of the article tomorrow (had planned to do it tonight but somehow the day got by me) Wizardman 04:44, 18 November 2014 (UTC)
Here's some more issues, through Marlins
- With the first para of early life, I can't tell of the growth spurt was the reason for his return to the team, the higher GPA, or a mix of both (it reads like the latter, but i'm not sure if that's the intent). A rewording may be helpful here.
- "In his senior season, Beckett, by this point nicknamed "Kid Heat,"[1] and was named the High School player of the year by USA Today." either it's missing a word somewhere or the and should be removed.
- Quotes need to be cited; add one for Avila's quote.
- Not sure if the signing subsection is needed; it could be combined with the minors.
- "but he eventually signed on August 28, 1999 to a four-year $7 million contract, that " rm comma before that
- "was the youngest opening day starter in the teams history." team's
- "His next start, in game one of the 2003 NL Championship Series against the Chicago Cubs did not go well " comma after Cubs
- Not sure if having the Steve Bartman sentence is useful for Beckett's article since he didn't play in game six.
- You note two performances en route to a World Series MVP, but only mention one, plus the Rodriguez sentence feels a bit tacked on, not flowing with the rest of the section. That paragraph could use rewording.
- "Coming off his World Series heroics," this part's not needed.
- You use both post-season and post season. Keep consistent (and i think both are wrong anyway, isn't it postseason?)
- "He made his 100th career start on September 8 against the Washington Nationals" While fine, to me this doesn't feel like it adds much of anything to the article, just feeling thrown in. If important, perhaps find a stronger reference for that.
- (Jumping down to the bottom of the article here) combine the retirement and consideration sentences; can't have one-sentence paragraphs.
I'm finding a lot of little stuff so it's taking me a bit longer to get through the article. Will continue work on it tomorrow. Wizardman 04:29, 19 November 2014 (UTC)
And here's the comments for the rest of the article:
- "In a deal that was made official on Thanksgiving Day, 2005," comma not needed after day
- "On July 18, 2006," given that the previous two sentences note the year it's not really needed here.
- "before turning in a masterful game five where he struck out" again, be careful of the journalese; rm masterful and reword. There's a few spots like this in the Red Sox section that will need tweaking, actually.
- " On September 16, he recorded his 1000th" 1,000th
I'll put the article on hold and will pass it when the remaining issues are fixed. Wizardman 04:35, 20 November 2014 (UTC)
- I think I got everything. Let me know if there is anything else or if I missed anything. Spanneraol (talk) 15:07, 20 November 2014 (UTC)
- Everything looks good after a read-through, so I'll pass the article. Wizardman 04:57, 21 November 2014 (UTC)