Talk:José María de Orbe y Gaytán

Biography: Military / Politics and Government

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Military history: Biography / European / Spanish C‑class

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Tone

Hello, BlackcurrantTea. You have tagged this piece as flavored with a wrong tone. Could you please provide some examples so that I can check and correct if needed? Regards, --Dd1495 (talk) 07:37, 16 August 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Hello, Dd1495, and thanks for asking. I took a quick look through the article, and these quotes will give you an idea of the tone I noticed. Words and phrases highlighted in green are those which stick out particularly.

The family rose to grandeur in the mid-18th century, following completion of an imposing palace, awarding Andrés de Orbe y Zarauz with marquesado of Valde-Espina, and intermarriage with a Murguía y Arbelaiz dynasty; the latter multiplied family wealth by estates in Eastern Gipuzkoa, centred around an emblematic mansion of Astigarraga.
In 1872 as teniente de caballeria he joined insurgency in Gipuzkoa; his baptism of fire took place on May 14, when Carlist units were already in retreat, during the skirmishes at Mañaria.
He masterminded the plan which involved travelling by train, by coach and accompanying camouflage activities, intended to deceive the French...
Despite a potentially explosive issue of his Liga membership, Valde-Espina's career in the party picked up the pace...
As internal controversy between the key party theorist Juan Vázquez de Mella and the new king Don Jaime was getting increasingly visible he enjoyed total confidence of the claimant...
In 1917 Valde-Espina again presented himself for the Gipuzkoan diputación and following a rather close call
Indeed, following some 85 years of unswerving loyalty, demonstrated by 3 generations of Valde-Espinas to legitimist claimants, José María abandoned his king and joined the rebels.
Due to own position and family prestige Valde-Espina was among the most distinguished personalities among the Mellistas...
It would also improve the article if more of the Spanish words and phrases were translated into English, even if they're wikilinked. Thanks, BlackcurrantTea (talk) 08:12, 16 August 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Hello, BlackcurrantTea, thanks for prompt response. Will try to do some clean up shortly. Regards, --Dd1495 (talk) 08:15, 16 August 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Hello, BlackcurrantTea, took me longer than anticipated, but finally have tried to polish the entry in line with your suggestions. Hope looks better now and OK to remove the tag. Regards, --Dd1495 (talk) 10:23, 30 August 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks, Dd1495, that's a definite improvement. I've removed the template. BlackcurrantTea (talk) 05:03, 10 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]