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Talk:John W. Beschter/GA1

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GA Review

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The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 19:38, 2 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]


Comments

  • I don't usually expect to see references in the lead as everything there should be covered in the main body. So move those awkwardly placed refs out of the lead.
  • "who immigrated " emigrated?
  • Several "he" in the lead, you could afford to repeat Beschter at least once.
  • "he was a pastor " repeat Beschter here too as the subject is uncertain.
  • A few too many "-ing" for me, e.g. "Upon arriving in" -> "Upon his arrival in", "soon began anglicizing" -> "soon began to anglicize" et seq.
  • "In the year of his arrival, Beschter" new section altogether, arrival where?
  • "which were comprised by" -> "which comprised"
  • " from Frederick, Maryland to " comma after Maryland.
  • "in Adams County, Pennsylvania in " ditto.
  • "In 1820, he was " replace he with Beschter (subject unclear once again).
  • I don't think linking "Polish" to Poland is helpful, we generally avoid linking common geographical terms.
  • "in the late winter of 1829" question, was the winter late or was the resignation late in the winter? Or even then, why is "late" important at all?
    • I've rephrased it to be clearer. It's not a terribly important detail, but I see no especially compelling reason for either its inclusion or exclusion. Ergo Sum 00:55, 5 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  • "lack of fluency in speaking and inability to write in English[30] (despite the fact that he was competent enough to preach in English);[31] " really awkward phrasing, any chance of a rework?
  • "45 students enrolled" why not "45 enrolled students"?
  • "He remained at " subject uncertain, repeat surname again.
  • " of his life.[3] In the last year of his life," repetitive.
  • " (1741—1889)" looks like an em-dash, should be en-dash. Check all.
  • "S.J." is mentioned in the suc-box, but nowhere else that I can tell, what is it?
    • As of now, an editor has removed all the S.J.s from the succession boxes on the basis of MOS:POSTNOM. I do not believe that is a correct application of the policy, which is intended to deal with honorific post-nominals. My logic for including it in the succession boxes was because it shows a continuity of a given office being occupied by members of one order, whereas its usefulness in the article is comparatively less. I will restore the post-nominals to the succession box. If you think they should be included in the text as well, let me know. Ergo Sum 01:05, 5 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]
      • My initial question was really "what does it mean"? But as it's been removed from everywhere besides a ref title, that issue has gone away. If you think it should be re-added, I'll leave it to you, but please do consider that for some of us ignoramuses, S.J. doesn't mean a thing, so at least link it somewhere... The Rambling Man (talk) 13:07, 5 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]

That's all, once again picky stuff, nothing fundamental, almost certainly already GA quality if we just blindly follow the criteria. Hopefully you can take a quick look at these comments and see if you think they're worthy of addressing. I'll place on hold for the moment. The Rambling Man (talk) 18:45, 3 June 2019 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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