Talk:John Verdun Newton

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Biography: Military

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A fact from John Verdun Newton appeared on Wikipedia's Main Page in the Did you know column on 14 November 2014 (check views). The text of the entry was as follows:

Did you know... that Jack Newton (pictured) was killed in action as a bomber pilot, 55 days after being elected to the Parliament of Western Australia?

A record of the entry may be seen at Wikipedia:Recent additions/2014/November. The nomination discussion and review may be seen at Template:Did you know nominations/John Verdun Newton.

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Comments

Hi Grant, overall this looks like an interesting article. I may not have time to go over content, prose and sources with a fine tooth comb tonight but can offer some comments on structure, style and images now at least:

Generally you don't see birth and death place mixed in with life dates in the lead, so rather than "(12 April 1916, Dongara, Australia [1] – 14 January 1944 Warmeloh, Germany [1][2])", I'd expect simply "(12 April 1916 – 14 January 1944)".
Most Good or Featured Articles tend to eschew citations in the lead and cite the material in the main body. So taking these first two points together, I'd expect to see the birth date repeated at the top of the main body, along with birth place, and all cited there. Similarly I'd expect to see death date repeated at the appropriate spot in the main body and cited there, along with death place. I'd have thought all the other material cited in the lead could also be sourced in the main body, rendering the lead citations redundant. Note that avoiding citations in the lead is the least of my concerns here, I'd always prefer too many citations to too few...
I understand the reasoning behind the list of the unusual aspects of his career but it looks a bit odd in a biographical lead. Three items doesn't seem excessive to render as a series of sentences, or even just one using semicolons to separate the clauses.
I tend to respect primary editors' decisions not to employ infoboxes but I can't remember a military or a political bio I've seen in WP that didn't use one. In this case of course you have a subject with military and political careers so an infobox seems doubly appropriate as a way of providing highlights of his life/career(s) in an easy-to-read form.
Generally all paragraphs should end with a citation; as examples, the last two paragraphs of Civilian life and political career and the fourth paragraph of War service do not.
Image licensing looks okay to me, I don't think any action is required there.

Will have to leave it there for now but should be able to come back in a day or two. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 13:08, 11 November 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks Ian, I will give those some thought. Grant | Talk 07:21, 18 November 2014 (UTC)[reply]

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