Talk:John Trask (cricketer)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Sportsfan77777 (talk · contribs) 08:57, 14 May 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

Is it worth including "during the late 19th century" when his whole life was in the late 19th century?
- Fair point, cut. Harrias ^{(he/him) • talk} 12:43, 14 May 2022 (UTC)[reply]
As a cricketer, he ===>>> As a cricketer, Trask
- Changed. Harrias ^{(he/him) • talk} 12:43, 14 May 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Maybe add a sentence on the Doyle reference?
- Added a line, how's that? Harrias ^{(he/him) • talk} 12:43, 14 May 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Early

Swap the second or third "after" in the first paragraph with a synonym (e.g. "following")
- Varied the second and the third. Harrias ^{(he/him) • talk} 12:43, 14 May 2022 (UTC)[reply]
despatch <<<=== typo
- Good spot, fixed. Harrias ^{(he/him) • talk} 12:43, 14 May 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Cricket

debut first-class cricket match <<<=== Is "debut" a correct term for a team's first match? I would use that for a player, but would think something like "inaugural" would fit better for a team.
- I think debut is fine, but inaugural is better. Changed. Harrias ^{(he/him) • talk} 12:43, 14 May 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Poor results in 1885 saw Somerset lose their first-class status for the following seasons <<<=== Did they formally have "first-class" cricket back then, or was this determined retroactively?
- A bit of both. It wasn't as formalised then as now, but it was very much a "thing", though the terminology was sometimes a bit loose. Harrias ^{(he/him) • talk} 12:43, 14 May 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Suggest starting the last paragraph with "Trask" instead of "He"
- Done. Harrias ^{(he/him) • talk} 12:43, 14 May 2022 (UTC)[reply]
"making 78" <<=== Is there a way to avoid repeat "made/making" here?
- Changed "..made his highest.." to "..reached his highest.." Harrias ^{(he/him) • talk} 12:43, 14 May 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Book

Suggest starting this section with something like: Trask was thought to have been referred to in one of Arthur Conan Doyle's books. With the current setup, it's not clear why the article just starts talking about Doyle.
- Blended your suggestion with the current wording, let me know what you think. Harrias ^{(he/him) • talk} 12:43, 14 May 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Per MOS:SIR, is it correct to use "Sir" when referring to someone?
- MOS:SIR says their use is optional, so yes. Harrias ^{(he/him) • talk} 12:43, 14 May 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Overall

Suggest titling ref 2 as "John Trask's death reported" even if that's not the real title, or just doing something to avoid the error.
- I've used the first part of the opening sentence: "The sad intelligence of the death from cholera in the Soudan of Surgeon-Captain John Trask". Harrias ^{(he/him) • talk} 12:43, 14 May 2022 (UTC)[reply]
It isn't recommended to use "Bibliography" as a section header because it's not clear if it's works cited or the subject's works.
- Sure, but the MOS specifically says it is permitted "Several alternate titles ("Sources", "Citations", "Bibliography") may also be used.." As I'm not writing about an author, I don't think there is too much scope for confusion. Harrias ^{(he/him) • talk} 12:43, 14 May 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Looks great! Just a few small things, some of which I wasn't sure about. On hold. Sportsfan77777 (talk) 11:07, 14 May 2022 (UTC)[reply]

@Sportsfan77777: Thanks for the review; responded to each point above, let me know what you think. Harrias ^{(he/him) • talk} 12:43, 14 May 2022 (UTC)[reply]