Talk:John Noble MacKenzie

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Review: September 18, 2020. (Reviewed version).

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GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:John Noble MacKenzie/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Harrias (talk · contribs) 06:59, 18 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

I'll take a look at this one shortly. Harrias ^talk 06:59, 18 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

References

What makes "Online Cenotaph. Auckland Museum." a WP:RS? The webpage acknowledges that "The development of the Online Cenotaph is an ongoing process; updates, new images and records are added weekly. In some cases, records have yet to be confirmed by Museum staff, and there could be mistakes or omissions in the information provided." and the contributors include a "Direct descendant". I'm not convinced this meets our standards for a RS.

I think it is OK for very basic, non-controversial information. It is published by the Auckland Museum and although anyone can submit information, it apparently gets reviewed by museum staff before going live. That's my experience at least anyway - I used it to submit details on a relative. In MacKenzie's case, I used it for his exact dob (but could replace with Wynn), exact dod and the fact that he was survived by his wife and two of three children. I would struggle to source the last two points without it. Zawed (talk) 11:31, 18 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

I'm happy enough with that; like you say, it is supporting non-controversial information. Might be an issue if you wanted to take this any further though. Harrias ^talk 12:32, 18 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

"Royal Air Force, Fighter Command, 1939-1945": use an endash in the year range for the title.

Done. Zawed (talk) 11:31, 18 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

"Two Fighter Pilots Decorated by the King": add the page and issue numbers for this reference.

Done. Zawed (talk) 11:31, 18 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Remove ", New Zealand" from the location in some of the references.

Done. Zawed (talk) 11:31, 18 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

The Kenneth G. Wynn book looks self-published: is Wynn an "established expert on the subject matter, whose work in the relevant field has previously been published by reliable, independent publications", as required by WP:RS?

I believe he is an expert - the book I've used is one of his earlier works but it has been cited by several subsequent NZ aviation historians, including Claasen and Lambert, also used in the article, as well as by Vincent Orange. Since 1981, Wynn's work has been published by Gliddon Books (in 1990) and more recently by Pen & Sword. His 1990 book in listed in the bibliography of John Ray's history of the Battle of Britain. Zawed (talk) 11:31, 18 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Yeah, I actually did a bit of searching after posting the review, and he looks like an expert in the field, so I'm content. Harrias ^talk 12:32, 18 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Images

Only one image is used, which is appropriately licensed and captioned. Consider adding alt text, but it is not a GA requirement.
Maybe consider adding another image in somewhere, possibly of one of the types of aircraft he flew? No requirement, just a consideration.

Added an image to the Singapore section. Zawed (talk) 11:03, 18 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

New image is also appropriately licensed and captioned. (No action needed.) Harrias ^talk 12:32, 18 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Prose

Wikilink British Malaya in the lead; it isn't commonly known.
Wikilink Thomas MacKenzie.
Wikilink, and correct the grammar in Timaru Boys' High School and Otago Boys' High School.
Wikilink No. 9 Flying Training School RAF.
Wikilink Deal, Kent, assuming that is the right location?

All the above links done. Zawed (talk) 10:47, 18 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

"claimed a Ju 88 as a probable" This need a bit more clarification, maybe as a footnote, just to make clear to a layperson what is meant by "a probable".

I've rephrased this, what do you think? Zawed (talk) 10:47, 18 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

I think that helps, thanks. Harrias ^talk 12:32, 18 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

"Two more Bf 1092.." Is this a typo, should it be 109s.

Fixed. Zawed (talk) 10:47, 18 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

"..as the Luftwaffe began resumed attacking convoys.." Too many words here I think.

Surplus word removed. Zawed (talk) 10:47, 18 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Wikilink British Malaya again in the Singapore section.

Done. Zawed (talk) 10:47, 18 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Overall a very nice and tidy piece of work, well done. I'll stick this on hold. Harrias ^talk 09:21, 18 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Harrias thanks for the review, I have actioned most points and responded to others above. Cheers, Zawed (talk) 11:32, 18 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]

All good, I'm happy to pass this now, nice work. Harrias ^talk 12:32, 18 September 2020 (UTC)[reply]