Talk:John F. Bolt/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Sturmvogel 66 (talk · contribs) 01:04, 1 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I'll start this one soon.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 01:04, 1 December 2011 (UTC) GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria[reply]

Is it reasonably well written?
A. Prose quality:
This is awkward: jet engine-powered fighter aircraft.
Reworked. —Ed!^(talk) 17:09, 2 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Capitalize Alley in MiG Alley as it's a proper noun.
Fixed. —Ed!^(talk) 17:09, 2 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Don't you earn a J.D. rather than gain one?
Fixed. —Ed!^(talk) 17:09, 2 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Don't show the designation of Wolverine as that conveys almost nothing, but call it a paddle-wheel aircraft carrier which ought to get that article a few extra hits.
Fixed. —Ed!^(talk) 17:09, 2 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

This is awkward: The squadron successfully defended from the strike, destroying
Reworded. —Ed!^(talk) 17:09, 2 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

How does this: However, Bolt was promoted to First Lieutenant tie into the previous sentence?
Despite not scoring any victories or doing anything daring, he got the promotion. —Ed!^(talk) 17:09, 2 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
That promotion is pretty much automatic.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 17:40, 2 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Reworded. —Ed!^(talk) 19:44, 2 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Need a comma before but they refused
Done. —Ed!^(talk) 17:09, 2 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

You might consider consolidating some of your one paragraph sections.
Done. —Ed!^(talk) 17:09, 2 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Need a hyphen in four month tour
Done. —Ed!^(talk) 17:09, 2 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:
As an American military aviator, dates should be DMY.
Done/ —Ed!^(talk) 17:09, 2 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
A. References to sources:

B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:

C. No original research:
Is it broad in its coverage?
A. Major aspects:
This is confusing: He was selected to be a pilot in November 1941, and moved to Atlanta Naval Air Station in Atlanta, Georgia. For this, he was moved to active duty that month, just before the attack on Pearl Harbor.[7] He then moved to the duty station in February 1942 You said that he moved to Atlanta, then went on active duty and then moved (somewhere?).
Reworded. —Ed!^(talk) 17:09, 2 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
You've overlinked MiG Alley.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 17:46, 2 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Delinked it. It should only be in the lead and the seealso template now. —Ed!^(talk) 19:44, 2 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

B. Focused:
Is it neutral?
Fair representation without bias:
Is it stable?
No edit wars, etc:
Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:

B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
Overall:
Pass or Fail:

There are also five disambig links to fix.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 23:53, 1 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Fixed everything. Thank you for your review! —Ed!^(talk) 17:09, 2 December 2011 (UTC)[reply]