Talk:John Doukas (sebastokrator)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: 3family6 (talk · contribs) 17:14, 4 December 2014 (UTC)[reply]

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

Is it reasonably well written?
A. Prose is "clear and concise", without copyvios, or spelling and grammar errors:
Readable prose and quite concise. I ran a duplication detection test, and the only result was from a Wikipedia-mirror, so all is well on the copyvio issue. I have just this objection to the prose, as I find the line confusing: "...and to aspire to one day assume the imperial throne until almost before his death." I'm assuming this means that up to shortly before his death, Doukas aspired to one day assume the imperial throne. Right now, though, the line could also mean that he aspired to reign until shortly before his death.--3family6 (Talk to me | See what I have done) 20:30, 13 December 2014 (UTC)[reply]

B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:
Complies with the MOS standards.--3family6 (Talk to me | See what I have done) 20:30, 13 December 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
A. Has an appropriate reference section:
Reference section provided, and follows a consistent format.--3family6 (Talk to me | See what I have done) 20:30, 13 December 2014 (UTC)[reply]

B. Citations to reliable sources:
The one source is a book to which I do not have access, and the other source (which is in two parts) is written in Greek. I am accepting these AGF, as they are reliable, academic works.--3family6 (Talk to me | See what I have done) 20:30, 13 December 2014 (UTC)[reply]

C. No original research:
All content is verifiable and discussed in reliable sources.--3family6 (Talk to me | See what I have done) 20:30, 13 December 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Is it broad in its coverage?
A. Major aspects:
Contains all aspects of John's life.--3family6 (Talk to me | See what I have done) 20:30, 13 December 2014 (UTC)[reply]

B. Focused:
Focused, no extraneous detail.--3family6 (Talk to me | See what I have done) 20:30, 13 December 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Is it neutral?
Fair representation without bias:
Neutral, fairly presents the life of John Doukas.--3family6 (Talk to me | See what I have done) 20:30, 13 December 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Is it stable?
No edit wars, etc:
Highly stable.--3family6 (Talk to me | See what I have done) 20:30, 13 December 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:
One image needed the template updated to reflect that it is public domain in the US, and I went ahead and fixed that as it was a minor issue. The other image is fine.--3family6 (Talk to me | See what I have done) 20:30, 13 December 2014 (UTC)[reply]

B. Images are provided if possible and are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
Useful, with suitable captions.--3family6 (Talk to me | See what I have done) 20:30, 13 December 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Overall: Almost. Just need to fix that one confusing sentence in the lead.--3family6 (Talk to me | See what I have done) 20:30, 13 December 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Prose issues fixed.--3family6 (Talk to me | See what I have done) 18:33, 15 December 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Pass or Fail:

Hello and thanks for taking the time to review this! I've fixed (I think) the awkward sentence. Anything else? Given the obscurity of the subject, how did it read in terms of comprehensibility? Do you think I should add more background material? Constantine ✍ 20:59, 13 December 2014 (UTC)[reply]

As someone who has some knowledge of the general history of the empire, but no knowledge of the details of its political system, I found that I could follow what was going on, though I didn't understand all of the complexities involved. If you feel that there is relevant background information that you could add, without detracting from focusing John Doukas, then please, go ahead and add that. I'll leave this open for a little before passing, so that you can add the material and I can assess it.--3family6 (Talk to me | See what I have done) 06:00, 14 December 2014 (UTC)[reply]

I made a few changes, mostly in phrasing. I am glad that the article can be followed as it is without too much specialist knowledge, but could you please, for the record, point out which places left you more troubled? If I ever take it to ACR or beyond I'll certainly have to fill in much more background material to link the rather isolated chronological episodes of John's life together, but that is not my priority right now. Thanks again for your time. Constantine ✍ 11:20, 14 December 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Those few changes made it easier to follow. Most of the issue is just that politics are complicated, but there's not much that you can do about that. As for the phrasing, these are the sentences that still need work: "...and even until shortly before his death he continued to aspire to one day ascend the imperial throne." - well, it's less confusing, but wordy, awkward, and too vague. Rewrite to something like "...and until shortly before his death aspired to the imperial throne." Second sentence: "...but the assembled people violently opposed this, saying that they refused to be ruled by a man so old after the equally elderly Andronikos I, and Isaac Angelos was crowned." - rewrite as "...but the assembled people violently opposed this, refusing to be ruled by a man so old after the equally elderly Andronikos I, and Isaac Angelos was crowned."--3family6 (Talk to me | See what I have done) 17:49, 14 December 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Done.--3family6 (Talk to me | See what I have done) 18:33, 15 December 2014 (UTC)[reply]