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Talk:Johannes S. Andersen/GA1

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GA Review

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On hold

  • No dab links and external links check out ok. Ran the article through AWB and everything checks out ok there too. The article is very informative and was very interesting. I lined out a few things that were fixed by myself or another editor already but they are lined out below so you can see. Here are a few other things that I found that I recommend correcting before the article is promoted to GA.
    • In general there are some short choppy sentences and I think some of them should be combined. I fixed a few but there are quite a few more.
    • I notice in a couple places in the article there seems to be what is referred to as WP:weasel words such as in the last sentence of the Institutionalize section you say “According to Andersen it was this that led him to begin his criminal career.” Its typically discouraged from saying According to like this unless it a quote. I recommend rewording it.
    • I think it needs more info about his first marriage if possible. If possible it should be mentioned why his marriage was annulled. Was it due to his criminal activity? Also did she have the children before they got married or did they have them together? Do we know how many children they had, were they boys or girls or what their names were? What happened to them after? I assume they stayed with their mother but its not really clear. If not all of that info is available that’s ok but I think its currently a bit vague.
    • The lede currently has references in it and per the MOS the lede should usually be reference free because that info should be in the article below and referenced.
    • There were some references should have an emdash vice a hyphen for page numbers. I see this for reference 18 and 36.
    • Some of the references are in Norweigan and I think since this article is on the English WP these refs should have the language=norweigen
    • I think the biographies section should be renamed to works and list the works that Anderson wrote.
    • the book in the Biographies section for Bjornsen should be moved to references if used (which it appears is not currently) or to further reading if not used.
    • The autobiography he wrote in the Biographies section should use the authormask option per template:cite book.
    • It appears that multiple reference styles are used in the references section. Sometimes the full reference is displayed such as with references 1 through 5 and sometimes its abbreviated like with 8 and 10. I think it should be consistent throughout. Especially in the cases were that reference is used multiple times.
      • Wouldn't that make the reference section unnecessarily large? I believed that that was a standard way of referring to book sources. For example I see that that's the system used over at USS Nevada (BB-36). One solution could be to move all the book references to their own section and then only include the abbreviated references in the references section. Manxruler (talk) 01:11, 26 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]
    • Reference 1 seems to refer to a book and links to what appears to be a summery of the book on a book sellers page (this is a guess on my part because I cannot read Norse). If you want to list the book as a general reference that’s ok but if its going to be linked like this I think it should give page numbers for the various different reference points so the reader wouldn’t have to read the whole book to verify the info. This reference is especially problematic in my opinion and if possible you should try and use some other references to verify this info.
      • You are wrong here, assuming that we mean the same thing by "Reference 1". If you clicked the link to the work, Norsk biografisk leksikon, you would see that this is a biographical encyclopedia. Thus, the info on him doesn't span hundreds of pages; what you see via the web link is the entire version. Hence no page numbers either. It is one of the most credible sources for biographies that exist in the Norwegian language, so I don't see how it is problematic in any way. Geschichte (talk) 22:39, 25 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]
    • the article lacks the persondata template and I think that should be added.
    • I would like to see an image of some kind, even if an image of the individual is not available. Maybe of the orphanage or maybe of Møllergata 19, or the Grinni Concentration camp.
    • In the later life section at the very bottom it states. “After the war he married Hertha Bergstrøm” This should be moved up towards the top of the section so its more in chronological order.
    • If any info is available regarding wether he had any children with his 2nd or third wives that would be good to add as well. Especially the third one. She is barely mentioned at all as though she is of no importance.

Reviewer: Kumioko (talk) 19:02, 25 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]

  • Thank you for reviewing! I will try to adress some of it as the nominator could be on vacation. Geschichte (talk) 22:39, 25 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]
    • Doing my master thesis, actually. It's very time-consuming. Thanks for the review, I do appreciate it. And thanks to Geschichte for helping out. Manxruler (talk) 01:13, 26 March 2010 (UTC) **If possible I'd like for there to be a short break in the review process so that an attempt can be made to track the Bjørnsen book down and supply the information on Andersen's personal life, wives and the like. Manxruler (talk) 19:34, 26 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]
      • Of course, what do you recommend. Should I fail it and you can resubmit later. You can withdraw it and resubmit it later or if you have other suggestions I am open. Just let me know know what you want me to do. --Kumioko (talk) 19:38, 26 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]
        • The review has only been open for a day, and there's no strict time limit. If work is being done then that's great, no need to force the pace. Malleus Fatuorum 19:45, 26 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]
          • Thanks. While Geschichte goes hunting for the Bjørnsen book (my own local library is too remote and minute to have it in stock) I'm going to fix the book ref style too a.s.a.p. Just gotta find the time to sort through it, tomorrow in all likelihood. Manxruler (talk) 01:22, 27 March 2010 (UTC) Book refs fixed. Manxruler (talk) 19:55, 27 March 2010 (UTC)[reply]
All resolvable issues have been corrected and I have passed the article. --Kumioko (talk) 16:16, 1 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]
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