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GA Review

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Reviewer: Lee Vilenski (talk · contribs) 13:30, 13 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]


Hello, I am planning on reviewing this article for GA Status, over the next couple of days. Thank you for nominating the article for GA status. I hope I will learn some new information, and that my feedback is helpful.

If nominators or editors could refrain from updating the particular section that I am updating until it is complete, I would appreciate it to remove a edit conflict. Please address concerns in the section that has been completed above (If I've raised concerns up to references, feel free to comment on things like the lede.)

I generally provide an overview of things I read through the article on a first glance. Then do a thorough sweep of the article after the feedback is addressed. After this, I will present the pass/failure. I will use strikethrough tags when concerns are met. Even if something is obvious why my concern is met, please leave a message as courtesy.

Best of luck! you can also use the {{done}} tag to state when something is addressed. Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs)

Please let me know after the review is done, if you were happy with the review! Obviously this is regarding the article's quality, however, I want to be happy and civil to all, so let me know if I have done a good job, regardless of the article's outcome.

Immediate Failures

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  • It is a long way from meeting any one of the six good article criteria -
  • It contains copyright infringements -
  • It has, or needs, cleanup banners that are unquestionably still valid. These include{{cleanup}}, {{POV}}, {{unreferenced}} or large numbers of {{citation needed}}, {{clarify}}, or similar tags. (See also {{QF-tags}}). -
  • It is not stable due to edit warring on the page. -
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Prose

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Lede

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Expanded and rewritten. No doubt it can be improved further BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 15:40, 18 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

General

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Early life
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 Done - if I've amended this in the right place. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 18:15, 17 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
 Done - changed word order, added that there was a billiard room. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 18:15, 17 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Davis lost to Fred Lawrence both in the semi-final of an invitational professional tournament at Thurston's Hall in 1920 and in the final of his first professional championship, the 1921 Midlands Counties Billiards Championship - this makes no sense. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 12:11, 17 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
 Done - split into two sentences and added "open." Will be a bit more explicit about invitation event vs. open championship if needed. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 18:15, 17 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
 Done - Davis' own book is wrong. He beat Lawrence in the semi-final and Dennis in the final. Changed source, included score. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 18:15, 17 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
 Done - amended name here and a bit later. Looks like it was generally referred to in the press as the "Professional Championship"; Everton's History of Billiards has it in the list of champions as the "BA&CC Championship" from 1920 to 1932 and the "World Professional Championship" from 1933 to 1973. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 18:15, 17 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • What happened in 1925?
 Done BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 15:11, 18 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
 Done BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 18:15, 17 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • He would defend his title for the next three years – against Newman again in 1929 and 1930 and New Zealander Clark McConachy in 1932. - winning two world titles needs a bit of an expansion. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 12:11, 17 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
 Done BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 15:11, 18 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Snooker
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 Done BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 18:15, 17 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
 Done BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 18:15, 17 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
 Done BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 18:15, 17 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
 Done BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 15:11, 18 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
 Done - please see whether this looks OK now. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 18:15, 17 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
 Done BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 15:11, 18 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
 Done Does this work? I tried not to overcomplicate it. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 15:11, 18 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
 Done - the Daily Mirror in 1978 says he had a heart attack, but I didn't find that in any other sources so have omitted it. I've used Everton's 2012 book as the source. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 21:25, 17 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Legacy
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 Done but may need tweaking. The event wasn't called the world snooker championship originally but is recognised as such now. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 21:25, 17 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
 Done - I've reworded the earlier reference to handicapping, as well as this. May need further work, I'll await your advice. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 21:25, 17 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
 Done Changed. I don't have the book but I think Callan was making a claim for Joe Davis as the best of all time to that point - this would include him being the better of him and Steve, so the amendment made is safer. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 18:15, 17 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Other
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 Done BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 18:15, 17 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Template:Cite_book#Identifiers says "include [ASIN] only if standard identifiers are not available." I've changed one but can't find a different identifier for the others. I considered links to British Library records but the urls are horribly long. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 21:25, 17 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]

GA Review

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GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:

Comments

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  • Automated note - If you fancy returning the favour, I have outstanding GA nominations that require reviewing at WP:GAN. I'd be very grateful if you were to complete one of these, however it's definitely not mandatory. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs)
Sorry about the delay BennyOnTheLoose - see above comments Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 12:48, 17 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks Lee Vilenski, all very helpful observations. I've made quite a few changes but expect there may well be further items to-do following this. Regards, BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 15:40, 18 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
I understand you may take this to FAC? I'd have some further comments then (mostly improving the lede), but as for now, it's fine for GA. Well done. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski (talk • contribs) 07:56, 19 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Lee Vilenski Many thanks for your constructive review. Yes, I think Joe is important enough that FA should be the target, so all further observations very welcome. I think his snooker career and the legacy section could do with more expansion, as well as the lede. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 10:44, 19 May 2020 (UTC)[reply]
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