Talk:Jock McKeen

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next steps

For the references, the two sections need to be combined,. Ref 3 is done one of the accepted correct ways, except that if there is an online link available for it , this should be given as well as the printed source. using the external link format within the reference. In addition, , first and last page numbers should always be given when relevant as for articles in journals; if a single p. no. is given it implies a one-page article. For journal articles included in pubmed, their PMID reference number should be given

Material indicated that someone is a leading anything needs a specific source. In general try to avoid such adjectives. I am not sure that all the statements of how he developed his interest & the cultural background for them are significant, as distinct from actual accomplishments. But it is certainly much improved. I'll look again later this week--remind me. DGG (talk) 09:16, 18 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Improving Bennet Wong, Jock McKeen and Haven Institute

To: DGG (talk)

I have given close attention to all three articles now, to address each item you suggested to improve these articles.
I believe the only recommendation I have not fulfilled is to find a national newspaper reference. I still am coming up dry on this; however, I will continue my search.
Have I satisfactorily addressed the issues you outlined?
Do you have further recommendations to improve the articles?
What is next?
Please note the trailer on the Haven article regarding "Category:Items to be merged" and "Category:Articles to be merged{{#if:"... I think it is a partially removed tag ... but I have left it, not knowing if it should be there or not. Should this be there?
I look forward to your feedback. Thanks. William Meyer (talk) 00:36, 24 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]

as for this article, I'd suggest cutting back or eliminating the section on student achievements. For academic people, we usually just give the name of their undergraduate college & the date of their degree, and similarly for medical school. In this case, as there's some relation to his later career, perhaps one or two short sentences. The details are presumably in his posted CV. DGG (talk) 03:13, 27 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I have cut the section on student achievements as you suggested. Do you have further recommendations for this article or for Bennet Wong or Haven Institute? I appreciate your help. William Meyer (talk) 22:16, 27 November 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Review

I did an additional revision, shortening the article a little to what I think would stand at AfD DGG (talk) 16:06, 25 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for your attention to this article. I can see how it is improved by your edits. Is there anything else you would recommend that I do to improve this article at this point? William Meyer (talk) 21:45, 25 December 2008 (UTC)[reply]