Talk:João Sousa/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Wizardman (talk · contribs) 02:14, 20 February 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Since it's one of the five oldest GA noms, I'll give this a review. Wizardman 02:14, 20 February 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Here are the issues I found:

The lead as written feels like it's more about his Portuguese ranking rather than a summary of his life. It's nothing serious, I'd just take out some of the "first portuguese to x" blurbs and replace it with his journey towards becoming a professional and rise to prominence, since that would make the lead more of a summary of the article.
The infobox says he turned pro in 2005, yet there's really nothing between then and 2011. Maybe there's not as much that he did back then, but it's still a glaring omission, especially given how long 2013 and 2014 are.
"until he was 14, when he decided to skip football and medicine to pursue a professional tennis career." this is the first mention of medicine, which feels jarring. if it was another career he was looking into growing up, then make that more clear earlier on.
"He stills practices there, as of 2014" That's all well and good, but given that's it a dated sentence that would have to be progressively updated, I'd replace it with something more permanent, such as "...where he still practiced after joining the ATP Tour."
As noted above, the jump from 2005 to 2011 is
When did he become an official part of ATP tours? His beginnings in that regard is missing, plus ATP should be linked and written out on first mention for the non-tennis savvy.
"At 2012 Estoril Open," I'm seeing this throughout the article. Is that proper jargon for tennis? To me it should say "At the 2012 Estoril Open," which should be the case throughout the article.
"tour level hard court tournament, at Chennai Open." rm comma. Also at the, see above. Correct each instance, since I'm not going to note every one given the volume.

In progress. I may continue this tonight, if not I'll wait until the above is resolved, since some of the issues are permeated throughout the article. Wizardman 01:57, 23 February 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Here's more that I found:

"through qualifying rounds." through the qualifying rounds, though I'm not sure if this is needed. If he was new to the tour then going through qualifying feels like a given to me.
"In the main draw, Sousa lost in straight sets to Florian Mayer the 1st round.[29] This prompted him to return into the top 100" As written this feels strange; losing in the first round promotes you to the top 100? I get that it was due to passing qualifying, but it can all be structured better.
"Sousa participated for Portugal Davis Cup team in Europe/Africa Zone Group II 1st round tie against Benin." I feel like there's a couple words missing in this sentence.
"Then, he played his first clay court tournament of the season"

Reading through this shows a lot of the same issues over and over that I noted above. As a result, this should be sent to WP:GOCE for a copyedit. That combined with the missing information noted above tells me that this is not yet ready for GA status. If everything is cleaned up then it could be a GA, since the sourcing and the actual meat in his professional career is in good shape (it feels slightly overdetailed at times, but nothing serious). Until then, I'm closing this as a failed GA, since it will take time to both expand the article and get it cleaned up by an independent editor. Wizardman 01:52, 25 February 2015 (UTC)[reply]