Talk:Jessie Bonstelle/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Zanimum (talk · contribs) 15:07, 25 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Strong article overall,

Lead

The lead seems short, given the length of the article itself. Perhaps a sentence or two more?

Early life

I work in an archives, and some of the volunteers specialize in genealogy. I'm going to see if they can quickly dig up a birth certificate; she's relatively recent, I find it hard to believe that the Bonesteel family didn't register her birth.

"Jessie first performed in public singing temperance songs in church at two years old." This phrasing is currently a little odd. Perhaps "Jessie's first public performance was singing temperance songs in church at two years old."?
Why are you mentioning an 1886 return to the stage up here, when the career section starts no earlier than 1882.

Career

Is there any year on the tour with Fanny Janauschek's company?
Why is there such a gap between suffering exhaustion in 1882 and her marriage in the 1890s? Is there absolutely no record of what she did in this period? Did she actually become a real sewing machine girl? Did she just hang on the arms of men other than Alexander?
Are there any NYC newspapers available for free online, for the 1910s? It would be good to have some period primary sources mixed in to the article, beyond Atkinson.
Is Proctor a person or a company?
I've added two commas.

Death

Since she was actively working at the time she was diagnosed with cancer, would you consider merging this with the career section? It would make the Character section much more palatable, as two stubby sections in a row is odd. Usually Death sections should be reserved for people where the death itself is a topic of interest all to itself. Her death, while tragic, isn't a core topic in understanding her life.

Passing "Character", "Reception and legacy", "References", categories. -- Zanimum (talk) 15:07, 25 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you very much for the quick and yet thoughtful review, I hadn't expected it so soon what with the backlog! I will look to address these points soon. BethNaught (talk) 15:40, 25 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Responses

Lead

I have expanded the lead to mention more of her achievements.

Early life

I have implemented your suggestion to reword that sentence.
Ah. That was another of my embarrassing typos that went undetected. The return was indeed 1886, but the career section was meant to say 1892 not 1882. I have corrected that.

Career

According to reference 2 it was 1891, and I have put that in.
The exhaustion was in fact 1892 and the marriage the year after. Silly typo from me...
I had trouble finding anything useful from the 1910s, but I have added some local newspaper references from the 20s and 30s and expanded the content with them. Annoyingly most of the articles about her in the New York Times are post-1923 and therefore paywalled, so her obituary is unavailable to me.
Proctor is a person and I have added a wikilink to him. It wasn't clear from the source but a quick Google clarified it.
I have noted one of her roles in 1912-17 so hopefully there are now fewer gaping holes.

Death

I have expanded it a little using the contemporary newspaper sources, but I have also put it in career per your suggestion. I wasn't aware of the convention about deaths having to be particularly significant.

Thanks again Zanimum. BethNaught (talk) 09:16, 26 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Passing! (It's good to expand the Theatre, musical theatre, dance and opera category, if only to 42.) She's actually the only person in the category, I'm wondering if she should actually be in "Actors, directors..."? There are a few movie producers outside of the people section, so there's precedent nearby. Hmmm. -- Zanimum (talk) 20:25, 26 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]

That could make sense, but actually Dave Stamper is under that heading, so it seems fine. Great news, thanks. BethNaught (talk) 21:14, 26 September 2014 (UTC)[reply]