Talk:Jefferson Davis/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Khazar2 (talk · contribs) 12:40, 12 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I'll be glad to take this review. Initial comments to follow in the next 1-3 days. Thanks in advance for your work on this important figure. -- Khazar2 (talk) 12:40, 12 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Initial comments

On first pass, this article appears to cover most major aspects of Davis's life, albeit in a choppy way. There are some areas where it needs work to meet the GA criteria, however. Since this was a "drive-by" nomination (a nominator who hasn't yet made an edit to the article) and hasn't been in the queue for very long, I'm going to close this for now, without prejudice to future renomination. Some of the GA criteria issues I noticed are listed below, and should give editors here a starting point before renomination. The full GA criteria can be found at WP:GA?. Thanks to everybody who worked on this one! It'd be great to see it reach GA. -- Khazar2 (talk) 13:05, 12 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

The lead appears to need some work per WP:LEAD. At six paragraphs, it's two paragraphs longer than the MOS allows; it also seems more detailed than it should be. Sarah Dorsey's plantation, oddly, gets more attention than his time in the Senate or the Pierce administration, but it's hard to believe this is one of the things he's most known for. The "popular tourist attraction in the Biloxi area" is unsourced and doesn't seem to be even mentioned in the article below; it seems promotional and probably doesn't belong in the article's lead, at least.
Does the comparison of Davis and Lincoln from the article's lead get more extended discussion in the body? I'm having trouble finding it.
" known to mankind" -- rewrite for gender-neutral language
- Fixed. Omnedon (talk) 15:13, 12 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
The block quotation under "restoration of citizenship" seems like excessive detail--Carter's specific words aren't really important here, and certainly aren't one of the best known things about Davis's life. I'd suggest reducing this section to a paragraph that could be tucked into "Legacy".
- Agreed, and fixed. I did quite a bit of work on this article back in 2011, but since then other stuff has been added. Omnedon (talk) 15:26, 12 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  - The sad fate of too many Wikipedia articles! Still, this probably doesn't need too much work to get up to GA if you're interested in renominating; the problems seem more form than content, and form problems are always easier to fix. -- Khazar2 (talk) 15:33, 12 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
" was recently hired" -- rewrite per WP:REALTIME
- Fixed. Omnedon (talk) 15:13, 12 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
single sentence paragraphs should be combined for flow per WP:LAYOUT
I believe "Find a Grave" has been ruled to not meet WP standards for a reliable source. Reliability of other sources should be checked, too.
- Replaced with the cemetery's website. Omnedon (talk) 15:13, 12 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Plain Folk of the Old South directs the reader to an article on a book rather than the people of the South--this should be clarified. (Also, why is this phrase capitalized in the article?)
- For the link text, I've used the generic term "common people" used in the linked article and elsewhere in this article. Omnedon (talk) 15:20, 12 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Citations from books (such as fns 81 and 82) should generally have page numbers, at least when the material verges on interpretation, as here.
- What do you mean by "fns 81 and 82"? Omnedon (talk) 15:13, 12 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  - Footnotes. Thanks for taking this on! -- Khazar2 (talk) 15:17, 12 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
    - That's what I assumed, but the current footnotes 81 and 82 do include page numbers. In looking at the history, though, I now see which ones you mean. Will check into that... Omnedon (talk) 15:20, 12 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
    - Am requesting these books through my library, so I will update these once I have them. Omnedon (talk) 18:49, 13 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
      - Terrific, thanks. As I said above, I've closed this review for now, so there's no rush. I hope you will renominate once it's ready, though--it'd be great to see this one get the green blob. -- Khazar2 (talk) 00:35, 14 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
File:Jefferson Davis 1853 daguerreotype-restored.png needs a US copyright tag -- Khazar2 (talk) 13:05, 12 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]