Talk:Jeff Wooller/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Wizardman (talk · contribs) 17:36, 1 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Here the issues I found:

The first paragraph of early career is essentially that he was a former this and former that, so it gets a bit repetitive. Could we either get dates added to get a better idea of his career or having it reworded a bit for better flow?

I've beefed up the Early life and career section and added some dates. Tentinator

We have two one-sentence paragraphs in that section; combine them into other ones or expand those spots a bit so they aren't stand-alone sentences. Also see the next point:

"In 2007, Wooller lost his membership as an Honorary Fellow of the Institute of Financial Accountants after appearing on television.[13]" Okay, there's either a lot I'm missing here or a lot the article's missing. Is there more to it? Just "appearing on television" makes me feel like there's information missing, since I'm fairly certain that showing up on TV wouldn't automatically remove someone from an organization. Also, 2007 doesn't qualify as early career, so maybe that sentence should be moved elsewhere in the article. (The quote in the ref, ironically, provides the detail I'm looking for that is omitted in the article.)

The Institute section has a lot of paragraphs starting with "In [year]...". Restructure a bit so it's not repetitive.

"executive of the ICAEW be elected directly, by the 109,000 members of the body" rm comma

"ICAEW be allowed to vote on Gerrard's key constitutional reform proposals" who's Gerrard? (first name and link or description)

There's a couple articles where heavy quotes in the refs are used where any can access them (namely the plagiarized mba one). I'd majorly trim that one and others. For those where many would not have access to them (the ebscohost ones, for example), I'm okay with the quotes even if they are a bit lengthy; there's only five quote-in-refs total anyway so this is probably an overreaction.

I'll put the article on hold and will pass when issues are fixed. Wizardman 18:29, 1 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Everything looks good now, so I'll pass the article. Wizardman 03:55, 3 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]