Talk:Jeanne Calment/GA1
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GA Review
[edit]After reading the article, I'd say that it is fairly solid. Everything seems to be covered adequately. I've copyedited to the best of my ability. However, I have a few things that I think should be addressed.
- Lead: "Her husband, whom she also outlived, left her a lot of money." "A lot" is so vague and colloquial that it should never be used in an encyclopedia. How much did he leave her?
- In Health status: "as well as a diet of nearly 2 pounds of chocolate, and port wine every week." Does this mean that she ate 2 pounds of chocolate every week with the port wine, or is it 2 pounds of chocolate per year or per day?
- She had 2 pounds of chocolate every week, and an unspecified amount of port wine. I made it clearer. how do you turn this on 14:57, 16 August 2008 (UTC)
- In Life: "His widow was still paying her when she died, after Raffray had died of cancer at the age of 77." When who died? Calment or the widow? Regardless of whoever it was, it should be "until" instead of "when."
- In Recognition: "A record company released Mistress of Time or "Time's Mistress", a four-track CD of her speaking over a background of rap and hip hop." Why the alternate title? The cited source does not have that.
- It may have been the direct translation from the French. I removed it in any case.
- Almost all the sources are Internet sites. While there's nothing wrong with that, it would be desirable to have some print sources for stability.
- It would of course; however, I don't have any books, apart from the Guinness Book of Records that have any mention of her, and Google Books doesn't have any available for preview. While it would be nice, the references used are all reliable ones, I believe. how do you turn this on 14:57, 16 August 2008 (UTC)
I feel that these prose issues should be fixed first before I'm comfortable with promoting to GA. As a result, I'm putting this on hold for now. bibliomaniac15 00:01, 15 August 2008 (UTC)
- Thanks for the review. I hope I fixed these things satisfactorily. how do you turn this on 14:57, 16 August 2008 (UTC)
- Thanks to you for fixing. Just keep the last point in mind if you're heading to FA status. I'll be promoting now. bibliomaniac15 17:02, 16 August 2008
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