Talk:Jarrod Pughsley/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: MWright96 (talk · contribs) 10:04, 12 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Going to take a look at this articles. Comments will come up soon. MWright96 (talk) 10:04, 12 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

Lead

"He played in 35 games, starting 23, during his college career" - should be worded as He played in 35 games, and started 23 of them, during his college career Done

Early years

"He was named Second Team All-Northwest District his junior year and First Team All-Northwest District his senior year." - Here is an improvement Pughsley was named VSecond Team All-Northwest District in his junior year and later First Team All-Northwest District in his senior year Done
Merge the third and fourth paragraphs together to avoid having one sentence paragrphs. Done

College career

"In 2011, he played in the final two games of the year and made a start at left guard in the season finale." - The following year, Pughsley played in the final two games of the year and made a start at left guard in the season finale. Done
"He played in 11 games, starting 10, in 2012." - reword to Pughsley played in 11 games, and started ten of those, in 2012 Done
"He was also one of eight recipients of the team's Harry "Doc" Smith Award," - He was also one of the eight participatns of the Akron Zips' Harry "Doc" Smith Award

Changing it to "Akron Zips" might make it seem like an award for the whole school, not just the football team. Thoughts? WikiOriginal-9 (talk) 17:22, 12 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

"He played in 35 games, starting 23, during his college career." - should be worded as During his college career, he played in 35 games, and started 23 of them. Done

Professional career

NFLDraftScout.com and NFL.com must be italicized Done

Dallas Cowboys

"He reverted to injured reserve on May 28." - better to change this to He reverted to injured reserve six days later Done

Kansas City Chiefs

"He was released by the Chiefs on November 5, signed to the team's practice squad on November 10, released on November 15, signed to the practice squad on November 19, released on November 26, signed to the practice squad on November 29, released on December 6, signed to the practice squad on December 13, released on December 20 and signed to the practice squad on December 26." - either split up this sentence or shorten it

I'm not sure there is a way to shorten it. Splitting it up might make the sentences seem kind of repetitive like "He was released by the Chiefs on November 5 and signed to the team's practice squad on November 10. He was released on November 15 and signed to the practice squad on November 19." Thoughts? WikiOriginal-9 (talk) 17:22, 12 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Think I'll gloss over this problems as the only suggestions I'm thinking off may end up worsening the issue. MWright96 (talk) 20:12, 12 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Baltimore Ravens

"He was waived on September 1, 2017, during final roster cutdowns." - change this sentence to read Pugsley was waved during final roster cutdowns on September 1, 2017 Done

References

Citations 33, 34, 35 and 36 lack an access date. Please add them Done

Going to place this article on hold until the author has taken action on the points raised above. MWright96 (talk) 13:45, 12 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

@WikiOriginal-9: Passing this article now. MWright96 (talk) 09:14, 16 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]