Talk:Japanese fire-bellied newt/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: FunkMonk (talk · contribs) 18:46, 3 November 2022 (UTC)

• Hi, starting the review page up now, some preliminary comments below, will look closer soonish. FunkMonk (talk) 18:46, 3 November 2022 (UTC)
• At first glance, there are a lot of very short sections. Single line/paragraph sentences are discouraged[1], and perhaps some of these could simply be subsumed into their more inclusive sections.
  • I condensed as much as I felt I could. There are still a couple of rather short bits, but merging them would probably disrupt the flow a little.

Looks better. FunkMonk (talk) 16:44, 6 November 2022 (UTC)

• Shikoku and brine shrimp are WP:duplinked. Duplinks can be highlighted with this[2] script.
  •  Fixed
• The two photos on the same line under "Description" cause WP:image sandwiching, could be spaced out.
  • I moved them a little; tell me if you think they should be spaced further.

Looks better, the image under Behavior and ecology could maybe be right aligned so it doesn't clash with the section titles. FunkMonk (talk) 16:44, 6 November 2022 (UTC)

• The infobox image does not give a very clear view of the animal, perhaps look around Commons for better images:[3]
  • I found a better one, not perfect, but the best available, in my opinion, as it shows both the dark sides and bright underbelly.

The orange tint is unfortunate, I'll see if I can correct it. FunkMonk (talk) 16:44, 6 November 2022 (UTC)

Not great, but changed a little. FunkMonk (talk) 05:55, 13 November 2022 (UTC)

FunkMonk, I've replied to your initial assessment. An anonymous username, not my real name (talk) 20:49, 3 November 2022 (UTC)

• "in his work Kenteekenen van eenige Japansche Amphibiën" Don't think titles of publications are needed in-text, better to keep them under references.
  •  Fixed
• More relevant for context would be introducing the researchers mentioned by occupation, perhaps even by nationality.
  •  Done
• "Traditionally, six races were recognized" Would subspecies be a better term?
  • The term "race", while rather outdated, is used consistently in multiple sources, so I think it's best to keep it as it is.
• Could be helpful to show a cladogram to illustrate some of the ideas presented, can be requested at WP:treereq.
  •  Done

• "The species was first described by Heinrich Boie in 1826 as Molga pyrrhogaster" Based on specimens from where?
  • Explained.
• What does pyrrhogaster mean?
  • It would appear to be Latin for "fire-belly", but I don't see a source that explicitly states that.

While it's about bird names, you could use this source, as the meaning is the same:[4] FunkMonk (talk) 05:55, 13 November 2022 (UTC)

 Done

Nice, but seems the citation wasn't added. FunkMonk (talk) 18:03, 13 November 2022 (UTC)

 Fixed

• " It is expected to eventually cause the genome of the western form to be lost to increasing hybridization" Is lost the right term here? Their genes will be passed on to the hybrid descendants after all.
  • I was just trying to follow the source's phrasing so as to avoid possible misinterpretation. I assume it means the "pure" version of the genome. Can you think of a better phrase?

Perhaps diluted by? FunkMonk (talk) 05:55, 13 November 2022 (UTC)

 Done

• What were the scientific names of some of these supposed races?
  • Since "race" is a rather vague/informal term, no scientific names are given.
• "The skin is dark brown, approaching black, and covered in wartlike bumps" Specify that this is the upper side or most of the body?
  •  Done
• "An entirely red variant exists, believed to be inherited and recessive" Is this a population or is it just individuals?
  • Elaborated.
• For general audience articles like this, it might be better to replace anatomical terms of direction with more regular terms (mainly an issue under Description).
  • Fixed some, but the most notable, "vomeropalatine teeth", is such an odd/obscure term that I can't find anything defining it.
• The subsections under description seem like the info in them belongs in other sections. Toxin under Behavior and ecology, not sure where Atsumi-Chita variant could go, but almost anywhere else would seem to make more sense.
  •  Done
• What are these lumps by the neck?[5] Remnant of gills or something?
  • I have no idea, as it doesn't say, so I don't want to risk drifting into OR territory by claiming they are.
• Are there physical differences between the clades?
  • I found no mention in the study that described them, but I did add their ranges, which were discussed.
• You randomly use the scientific name instead of the common name in places, though you should probably stick to the version used in the title.
  • I do this to limit redundancy, as saying "Japanese fire-bellied newt" repeatedly becomes tedious.
• "There is also an introduced population on Hachijojima Island, believed to be descended from individuals from Shikoku" Under what circumstances were they introduced?
  • Explained.
• Some of the Commons image descriptions state the sex of shown individuals, worth to mention in captions?
  • I only noticed it for one, but  Done
• You appear to use US English, yet measurements are given in millimetres instead of millimeters, could be avoided by just abbreviating.
  • I'm afraid the template does this; I'm not sure if there's a way to change it.

You can abbreviate them like at Seychelles parakeet. If you want it spelled out still, I'm sure there is a way of showing American spelling. Either way, consistency is demanded at FAC. FunkMonk (talk) 05:55, 13 November 2022 (UTC)

 Fixed}

• Perhaps state in the video under captivity that it's an animal in a sea life park, to establish why it's in that section?
  •  Done
• Is there more info that could be added perhaps? Checked Google scholar?
  • There's bits and pieces, but mostly about experiments that have little to do with the natural anatomy, biology, behavior, etc.

FunkMonk, I've replied to everything. An anonymous username, not my real name (talk) 16:57, 10 November 2022 (UTC)

• "known as sodefrin, while females have their own variety, named "imorin"" Why is only the latter in quotation marks?
  •  Fixed
• Link cloaca at first instead of second mention.
  •  Done
• Link peptide at first mention instead of further down.
  •  Done
• Ref 10 and 11 seem to be the same source, should be combined.
  •  Done
• Remember italics in scientific names in citation titles, and other citation consistency, such as whether you capitalise titles or not.
  •  Fixed the first issue, but for the second, is it not proper to mirror how it's written in the source (except of course, WP:ALLCAPS)?

I believe small caps are preferred for journal articles and book chapters and large caps are preferred for book titles. Don't ask me why, though. Either way, should be consistent among the journal sources. FunkMonk (talk) 18:03, 13 November 2022 (UTC)

 Done

• Most of the left aligned images now clash with section headers, may look better to right align them.
  •  Done, but is it okay to have all the images on one side like that?
• "They undergo metamorphosis at between five and six months (immediately before which, they stop eating)" I'm not sure what the parenthesis means. They stop eating before metamorphosis, or they stop eating if they metamorphose before this time? And why do they stop eating?
  • I suppose that was a poor attempt at breaking it up a little to make it easier to read.  Fixed, but I could not find exactly why they stop eating.
• "consume soil-dwelling Collembola and Acari species" Could mention their common names, as well as for other such groups.
  •  Done
• "Newts in Mainland Japan have different antipredator behavior than newts on smaller ones." Do you mean "islands" instead of "ones"?
  • Yes, that was worded differently originally.  Fixed
• "Mainland Japan" Should the m really be capitalised here?
  • That's how it appears in the linked article.
• "Wild Japanese fire-bellied newts contain high levels of the neurotoxin tetrodotoxin" So does this have any use?
  • Explained.
• Seems the "Bright red ventral area" image would make sense in the predators section?
  •  Done
• Sources are usually asked for the range maps. Should be added to the file image description on Commons.
  •  Done
• I usually use the white space right of a cladogram to add additional images of interest, if you have any.
  •  Done

Nice, it appears only 3 is this species[6], the image can of course still be used, but the caption should reflect that. FunkMonk (talk) 18:03, 13 November 2022 (UTC)

 Fixed

• "Japanese fire-bellied newts produce motilin, a peptide that stimulates gastrointestinal contractions in mammals." So what's its function in the salamanders?
  • Read the source again, apparently it is present in many (likely all) vertebrates, with a similar function. Reworded.
• "Later authors use the spelling Molge." Do we have a source and explanation for this?
  •  Done
• Size should be mentioned in the intro.
•  Done
• I won't press the issue further at GAN, but I cna imagine that further single sentence paragraphs and sections will be asked to be merged together, so probably good to give this another pass before nomination.
  • Did more condensing.
• Changes look nice, I've added some replies above, and when they're addressed, I should be ready to promote. Feel free to ask any further questions regarding the FAC process here. FunkMonk (talk) 18:03, 13 November 2022 (UTC)

I think I've gotten to everything. Thank you for your time and effort. An anonymous username, not my real name (talk) 18:42, 13 November 2022 (UTC)

Cool, seems it wasn't saved, though? FunkMonk (talk) 19:12, 13 November 2022 (UTC)

Good catch. It's there now. An anonymous username, not my real name (talk) 19:14, 13 November 2022 (UTC)

Looking nice, and I'll promote now. I think it should be ready for FAC. FunkMonk (talk) 19:51, 13 November 2022 (UTC)

Thank you very much for everything! An anonymous username, not my real name (talk) 20:27, 13 November 2022 (UTC)