Talk:Japanese aircraft carrier Ryūjō/GA1
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Reviewer: Anotherclown (talk · contribs) 00:38, 15 September 2013 (UTC)
Progression
[edit]- Version of the article when originally reviewed: [1]
- Version of the article when review was closed: [2]
Technical review
[edit]- Citations: The Citation Check tool reveals no errors with reference consolidation (no action req'd).
- Disambiguations: no dab links [3] (no action req'd).
- Linkrot: external links check out [4] (no action req'd).
- Alt text: Images all lack alt text so you might consider adding it [5] (not a GA req'ment - suggestion only).
- Copyright violations: The Earwig Tool reveals no issues with copyright violations or close paraphrasing [6] (no action req'd).
- Duplicate links: a few duplicate links:
- funnels
- bridge
- flight deck
- typhoon
- Nakajima B5N
- Kakuji Kakuta
- heavy cruiser
Criteria
[edit]- It is reasonably well written.
- a (prose): b (MoS):
- In the lead this is a little repetitive: "She proved to be top-heavy and only marginally stable and she was back in the shipyard for modifications to address those issues within a year." Specifically "she" twice in same sentence. Perhaps consider more simply: "She proved to be top-heavy and only marginally stable and was back in the shipyard for modifications to address those issues within a year."
- Suggested rewording her: "...the Navy doubled her aircraft stowage requirement to 48 in order to give her a more useful air group...", consider instead "... the Navy doubled her aircraft stowage requirement to 48 in order to give her a more capable air group..."
- Measurement should be hypothecated here as its an adjective per WP:MEASUREMENT, "...Her 513 ft 6 in (156.5 m) flight deck..."
- "As completed, Ryūjō's primary AA armament...", what is AA? Abbrev needs to be introduced at first use (you link and explain the abbrev a few sentences later).
- Adjective here too unless I'm mistaken: "...25 millimeters (0.98 in) AA guns."
- Date format here seems off: " the ship was reconstructed from 26 May 1934 to 20 August...", consider instead: " the ship was reconstructed from 26 May to 20 August 1934..."
- Typo here: "Captain Ichiro Ono assumed command on 15 November 1934 and Ryūjō becomes the flagship...", consider instead: "Captain Ichiro Ono assumed command on 15 November 1934 and Ryūjō became the flagship..."
- Typo here: "The following month the ship was chosen to evaluate of dive-bombing tactics...:, consider instead: "...The following month the ship was chosen to evaluate dive-bombing tactics..."
- This seems awkward to me: "Her aircraft complement consisted of 12 (plus four spares) A4N fighters...", consider instead: "Her aircraft complement consisted of 12 A4N fighters (plus four spares)..."
- "Her air group is flown ashore on 6 October..." → "Her air group was flown ashore on 6 October..."
- "Ryūjō is given a refit that lasts from December 1939 through January 1940 and becomes a training ship until November..." → "Ryūjō was given a refit that lasts from December 1939 through January 1940 and becomes a training ship until November..."
- "The ship's air group now consists of 18 Nakajima B5N ("Kate") torpedo bombers and 16 A5M4 fighters..." → "The ship's air group then consisted of 18 Nakajima B5N ("Kate") torpedo bombers and 16 A5M4 fighters."
- It is factually accurate and verifiable.
- a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
- All major points cited using WP:RS.
- No issues with OR.
- It is broad in its coverage.
- a (major aspects): b (focused):
- Most major points seem to be covered without going into undue detail.
- Level of coverage seems appropriate.
- It follows the neutral point of view policy.
- a (fair representation): b (all significant views):
- No issues here.
- It is stable.
- No edit wars etc.:
- No issues here.
- It contains images, where possible, to illustrate the topic.
- a (tagged and captioned): b (Is illustrated with appropriate images): c (non-free images have fair use rationales): d public domain pictures appropriately demonstrate why they are public domain:
- Images are all PD and seem appropriate to the article.
- Overall:
- a Pass/Fail:
- Looks fine, just a few minor prose and MOS issues above to deal with. Happy to discuss anything you disagree with of course. Anotherclown (talk) 01:36, 15 September 2013 (UTC)
I've fixed everything that you've point about above. A most thorough review. Many thanks.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 03:37, 15 September 2013 (UTC)
- Too easy. Passing now. All the best. Anotherclown (talk) 05:11, 15 September 2013 (UTC)