Talk:Janice Chen
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Feedback
[edit]Hi De Pisan I have some suggestions for how you could improve your draft.
- Right now you have a limited perspective (this article is US centric with one brief mention of another country, the UK). If you feel ambitious, you could include information on transgender voting rights in other regions. For more information on what an example of global perspective would look like, you could check out Women's suffrage.
- If you think you want to maintain a focus on the US, then your eventual article title should be "Transgender voting rights in the United States"
- I just noticed that there is an article titled Transgender disenfranchisement in the United States. It seems that what you have right now essentially duplicates that topic. Perhaps instead of creating a new article, you should contribute to this one instead? Wikipedia ideally operates under a 1 topic=1 article model so that content isn't duplicated across multiple pages (we call that a content fork).
- I made a few small adjustments to the layout and formatting
- Section titles should be in sentence case (only the first word capitalized and proper nouns) as opposed to title case (first letter of each word capitalized)
- I also made some adjustments to the layout of the page related to what is a section and what is a subsection
- Per the Wikipedia policies on external links, they should not generally be placed in the body of the article. I see at least two external links (in the advocacy section). These links can be removed from this section and added to an "External links" section. The External links section goes after the references section.
- great use of sources & ensuring use of neutral tone and POV
Let me know if you have any questions about this feedback!
new feedback
[edit]Here are some thoughts about your sandbox:
- A small note about citation formatting. Citations directly follow the punctuation, including commas, periods, and semicolons. There's then a space between the citation and the next sentence. If multiplie citations follow a sentence, there are no citations between them. So for example, you should have
Sentence.[1][2] Sentence.[3]
and notSentence.[1] [2] Sentence[3].
- Be careful about relative time references, or any use of the word currently. Instead of
...the coronavirus currently causing societal social-distancing and global quarantines
, you might say, the coronavirus that caused social distancing and global quarantines in 2019 – 2020) or something to that effect. - For a biography, the name of the person is bolded in the very first sentence
- Great use of references to verify the content!
- It might be good to create an "awards and honors" section where you can mention she was named a 30 under 30 for Forbes.
Great work! Let me know if you have questions about this feedback. Elysia (Wiki Ed) (talk) 20:27, 13 May 2020 (UTC)
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