Talk:Jamming avoidance response/GA1
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Reviewer: PCN02WPS (talk · contribs) 21:39, 7 June 2022 (UTC)
Hi there, I'll be reviewing this nomination in the coming days. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 21:39, 7 June 2022 (UTC)
Many thanks! Chiswick Chap (talk) 02:48, 8 June 2022 (UTC)
PCN02WPS - comments? Chiswick Chap (talk) 17:05, 15 June 2022 (UTC)
- @Chiswick Chap: thanks very much for your patience, I'm very sorry to make you wait this long. The article is well-written as is, and what comments/concerns I had are below. I'll place this on hold. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 00:12, 17 June 2022 (UTC)
- No worries.
- All corrections look good to me. Spot-checks were performed on references 1, 5, 12, and 14 (as far as I can tell, the only references that are available to me at this time) and no concerns arose. I'm happy with the quality of the article and I am happy to give it a pass, well done. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 00:33, 18 June 2022 (UTC)
- No worries.
Lead
[edit]- I will ultimately leave this up to you, but I think removing words as indicated from this sentence could eliminate repetition: "each fish shifts its discharge frequency to increase the difference between the two
fish's discharge frequencies"- Done.
Discovery
[edit]- I'd recommend redirecting the link for "Eigenmannia" from Glass knifefish to Eigenmannia, as that seems to be the page about the genus being referenced
- Done.
Behavior
[edit]- Same linking question as above in "Discovery" section
- Removed overlink.
- "If a neighboring electric field is discharging sinusoidally close to the fish's EOD frequency..." → would this wording convey the same meaning? "If a neighboring sinusoidal electric field is discharging close to the fish's EOD frequency"
- Done.
- "which results in sensory confusion in the fish, jamming it and preventing it from electrolocating effectively" → the two "it"s in this sentence seems to be referring to different things, just from how I am interpreting the sentence: "jamming it" (the fish's electroreceptive organs) "and preventing it" (the fish) from electrolocating..."
- Good catch. Reworded.
- I'd quickly define "conspecific", as I suspect the average reader (myself included) would be unfamiliar with the term
- Reworded.
Neurobiology
[edit]- "equal to the frequency difference between stimulus and EOD" → sounds more natural if "the" is added before "stimulus" and "EOD" to read "equal to the frequency difference between the stimulus and the EOD", though I could be wrong here
- Done.
- Do the "P" and "T" of the P- and T-units stand for anything? If so, that would be helpful to note
- Added.
- "fires synchronously with the signal frequency, by firing a spike" → remove comma
- Done.
- "Two types of pyramidal cells exist: 1) excitatory E-units, which fire more when stimulated by P-units, and 2) inhibitory I-units, which fire less when stimulated by inhibitory interneurons activated by P-units" → eliminate the "1)" and "2)" as they read awkwardly and break up the flow of the prose, and remove italics on "less"
- Done.
- I would recommend converting the "stimulus > EOD" and "stimulus < EOD" into prose for the benefit of readers that are not familiar with the symbols, perhaps something like "in which the stimulus is greater than/less than the EOD"
- Done.
Phylogeny
[edit]- "Weakly electric fish are either pulse-dischargers or wave-dischargers; most are pulse-dischargers, which do not perform the JAR." → this sentence could be simplified as follows (or something similar): "Weakly electric fish are either pulse-dischargers, which do not perform the JAR, or wave-dischargers, which do."
- Done.
- Same issue here with the "1)" and "2)"
- Fixed.
- Is there a way the "sp" and "spp" in the phylogenetic tree could be explained or briefly defined?
- Added.
Many thanks for the review! It would be as well if you could confirm that you have carried out spot-checks on the citations used in the article. All the best, Chiswick Chap (talk) 08:06, 17 June 2022 (UTC)