Talk:James Hill (British Army officer)/GA1

GA Review

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I will have to take several sittings at this article before it is completed (a bit busy at the moment). I will leave comments as I see them below and then I'll provide a summary at the end. Regards--Jackyd101 (talk) 16:20, 10 October 2009 (UTC)

• "The division was withdrawn to England in September 1944, but briefly saw itself in the Ardennes in December" - saw itself doesn't really make sense to me, can you clarify this?

Clarified

• Link to Walter Hill goes to a disambiguation page. If the article doesn't exist I recommend creating it.

I tried to before, but I've no sources on him. I've delinked him for now; maybe something can be found online.

• Unless its part of a title, military ranks shouldn't be capitalised.

Can you highlight where this occurred?

WHen he is promoted to captain and major the ranks are capitalised but I don't think they should be as they are not part of a direct title. Its not vital and I leave it up to you.

• "should German forces land there; during his stay in the city" - the "during his stay in the city" seems redundant in the context of the sentance.

Yeah, removed it.

• "he found several Germans staying at the Gresham Hotel, where he was lodged." - First of all it needs a capital letter. Secondly, who were these Germans and why is this an important fact (Ireland was neutral at the time after all).

Ahh, removed that bit; it was only something from the newspaper obituaries and isn't exactly important.

• "because it was too dependent on there being good weather on the day of the raid" - not clear enough. Instead of "it" use something like "their deployment"

Done

• "A short time after the battalion entered Béja, German arrived and bombed the town," - German what?

Whoops, added 'aircraft'

• "Hill was shot three times in the chest and his adjutant wounded, and the tank crew swiftly dispatched with small arms fire" - there should be an although rather than the and after the comma.

Done

• "with 3rd Parachute Brigade occupying an area around Rochefort" - Rochefort is a dismiguation page.
• "several attacks against German positions in the village of Bure, which resulted in heavy casualties" - to which side?
• I've tried to add links to towns that are mentioned but not linked, but some are coming up as red. Since I always feel these links are important for readers who want to locate these places, please double check spelling etc. to link as many as possible.

GA Pass

Hi there, I am happy to tell you that this article has passed GA without the need for any further improvement. Listed below is information on how the article fared against the Wikipedia:good article criteria. There are some additional comments above that may assist you in future processes, but I have to say that I believe this article is not far from FAC standard and I would likely give it my support should it be nominated (although I may have one or two additional comments).

• It is reasonably well written.

  a (prose): b (MoS):

• It is factually accurate and verifiable.

  a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):

• It is broad in its coverage.

  a (major aspects): b (focused):

• It follows the neutral point of view policy.

  a (fair representation): b (all significant views):

• It is stable.

  

• It contains images, where possible, to illustrate the topic.

  a (tagged and captioned): b (lack of images does not in itself exclude GA): c (non-free images have fair use rationales):

• Overall:

  a Pass/Fail:

Thankyou and congratulations, an excellent addition to Wikipedia:Good Articles. All the best.--Jackyd101 (talk) 11:11, 11 October 2009 (UTC)