Talk:Jamaica national football team/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Kosack (talk · contribs) 14:31, 5 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]

I'll take a look at this one. Will post review as soon as possible. Kosack (talk) 14:31, 5 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Initial review

Lead

"officially represent Jamaica in international football", officially seems rather unnecessary here. I'm assuming no one unofficially represented them?

Done

Link the full wording of CONCACAF.

Done

"competes in the Caribbean Cup and has won six times", sounds a little clunky perhaps. "Has won the competition" six times"?

Done HawkAussie (talk) 00:14, 6 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Early history (1893–1962)

"In 1910, the Football Association was formed", is this referring to the JFF? If so, include the JFF with a link.
- Done
"controlled all of the games", this seems rather vague. Needs more explaining, something along the lines of "to take control of Jamaica's domestic leagues and international side"? There may be better wording here but you get the gist.
- Done
"Jamaica had its first international match against Haiti and won all three games", again needs more explanation, we suddenly jump from the team's first international match to three.
- Done Slightly modified this sentence so this makes more sense.
Delapenha didn't play for the national side according to his article. Is that an oversight in his page? Otherwise it seems odd to list him here.
- Done It seemed to be added when Bobby was doing the c/e

Post-independence (1962–1989)

"the Jamaica Football Federation was formed", the article for this states they were founded in 1910 but gained FIFA affiliation in 1962?
- Done I am quite sure that was when the JFF became a FIFA member.
The Netherlands > The Netherlands Antilles. Same again in the following paragraph.
- Done
Duplink of Mexico in the second paragraph.
- Done
Link hat-trick in the second paragraph.
- Done
The two sentences at the start of the last paragraph regarding missing the two World Cup qualifying campaigns could probably be merged into one.
- Done I feel like that is properly a good idea there. HawkAussie (talk) 00:26, 6 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Caribbean triumph and World Cup appearance (1990–2000)

"1992 Caribbean Cup. In 1992, Jamaica competed." Could drop the second 1993 here for "later that year" or similar.
- Done
"its largest-ever win margin in a 12–0 win", against who?
- Done It was against the British Virgin Islands.
"Simões searched for players and convinced Jamaican players in the UK to play for Jamaica", probably need to clarify why this was notable I.e. the number of foreign-born players who were selected called up.
- Done I have slightly modified that sentence so that it was players that had Jamaican heritage that would be eligible to play for Jamaica.
"With the help of keeper", > goalkeeper.
- Done

Struggles at continental level (2001–2009)

"After reaching the final after wins against", slight repetition of after here.
- Done Changed the second after to with.

Recent times (2010–)

Can't say I'm keen on the heading here (at what point will it not be "recent" for example). Is there an alternative heading?
- Done Changed to it continental finals appearances because they appeared in the 2015 and 2017 Gold Cup final.
"a historic 2–1 win over the US at home", historic seems like a WP:PEACOCK term. Why was it historic?
- Done Because it was the first time that they defeated the Americans.
Giles Barnes linked twice in two sentences in the third paragraph.
- Done
"Jamaica finished scoring no goals in three matches, ending last in its group with zero points", I'm not sure this sentence really works in its current form.
- Done Reworded it. HawkAussie (talk) 00:47, 6 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Kits

"The national team has been through four clothing manufacturers that applied the official kit for Belgium." This is a little informal and I'm not sure why Belgium are relevant here?
- Meant to be Jamaica here. HawkAussie (talk) 00:17, 6 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Records

The UB40 note is a little oddly placed here, it's not a record after all.

Done Meant to be in the player section. HawkAussie (talk) 00:16, 6 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]

References

Refs 9, 23, 33, 42, 65, 74, 80 and 81 need a publisher.
Ref 39 needs an author.
Avoid shouting in ref titles, per WP:ALLCAPS.
- Done Completed all of those.

That's all I've found in an initial run through. Try to avoid repeating the team name so much as well, there are over 100 uses of Jamaica in the lead and main body. Placed on hold until the above issues are addressed. Kosack (talk) 19:51, 5 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]

@Kosack: I think I have completed those requests that you desire. HawkAussie (talk) 23:57, 6 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Follow up

Post-independence (1962–1989)

"the JFF was formed", you've now got the JFF being formed in the first section and here in the second. Was this meant to be their FIFA affiliation?
- Done It was their FIFA affiliation which I have put in.
"from its previous World Cup team", probably best to mention qualifying otherwise it sounds rather like they made the tournament.
- Done Slighty reworded to say that it was the previous attempt in qualifying.

Caribbean triumph and World Cup appearance (1990–2000)

"1992 Caribbean Cup. In 1992, Jamaica competed." Could drop the second 1993 here for "later that year" or similar. This still stands from the initial review.

Done Modified that flow through there.

@HawkAussie: A couple more things I noticed in a second run through. I've done some minor copyediting, let me know if you take issues with any of the changes but they're all relatively small. Kosack (talk) 18:57, 7 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]

@Kosack: I don't see any main issues with that as they are indeed only minor. HawkAussie (talk) 00:33, 8 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Ok I think we're there on this one. I'm happy that this meets the GA criteria. Nice work, promoting.