Talk:Jaimin Rajani/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Sparkl (talk · contribs) 19:05, 5 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

Is it well written?
A. The prose is clear and concise, and the spelling and grammar are correct:
Obvious and pretty visable errors. See below.

B. It complies with the manual of style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation:
This article is severely lacking on his upcoming. there are no sections on this person's career, life, or professional ventures. There are other small things that bring confusion. See below.
Is it verifiable with no original research?
A. It contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline:
No concerns.

B. All in-line citations are from reliable sources, including those for direct quotations, statistics, published opinion, counter-intuitive or controversial statements that are challenged or likely to be challenged, and contentious material relating to living persons—science-based articles should follow the scientific citation guidelines:
Spotted some reliable magazines like Rolling Stone India and The Hindustan Times, although around half of the sources I couldn't really verify the author's or the site's credibility. See below.

C. It contains no original research:
Unsourced claims. See below.

D. It contains no copyright violations nor plagiarism:
Earwig returns mostly positive. It's hard to determine close paraphrasing when the placement of sources are all over the place.
Is it broad in its coverage?
A. It addresses the main aspects of the topic:

B. It stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style):
This is probably the complete opposite. Even though GAs are ment for shorter articles, this one is far too short with just "Discography" and "Filmography" sections. Again, there are no sections on this person's career, life, or professional ventures. There is also this really awkward album shoehorn in this article. See below.
Is it neutral?
It represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each:
Okay at best. Attribution seems bare bones, and it leans more towards a promotional tone. See below.
Is it stable?
It does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute:
Nothing prominent.
Is it illustrated, if possible, by images?
A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content:
The only image in the infobox, but the description claims that the source was from the uploader's "own work". Other than this, there is no external source, author credentials, or permission ticket to verify the authenticity, license, or source of this image. Uploading a living BLP image is forbidden per WP:NFC#UUI.

B. Images are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
MOS:CAPLENGTH isn't necessarily strict on captioning, but it would be preferable since it's a BLP.
Overall:
Pass or Fail:

Opening Comments

Will review shortly. Sparkl^talk 19:05, 5 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

Birth date is unsourced and not in the main body.
He writes songs into the traditions of folk and rock music. Why is this in present tense?
As a producer, Jaimin has worked on the albums ‘Then & Now’ (2020) by Susmit Bose and ‘White Knight's Tale’ (2019) by High. Why is this in lead? Shouldn't this go in the "Discography" or other similar section?

Discography

We don't need a "Albums" subsection for just one album, otherwise this needs to be removed or have a really good reason for that to be here.
- There really shouldn't be 7 citations to the album name.
Cutting Loose needs to be italicized.
The Cutting Loose paragraph is unsourced and needs some copyediting.
In The Quint... should be changed to something like In an article from The Quint...
In addition to being critically acclaimed, the album and its individual tracks have been highly praised by illustrious artists like John Sebastian, Scarlet Rivera and Rob Stoner. This is unsourced as well.
Remove the whole Cutting Loose track listing and reception. This article is about a BLP, not an album. The article needs to address more general topics specifically about this person.
The "Singles" subsection is unsourced and needs to be written in prose instead. If there are position charts available for these singles then they can be in table form in another section.

Filmography

This whole section seems to be best displayed as a table.
Again, we don't need 6 citations for a single word.
In 2019, Jaimin made a documentary titled If Not for You narrated by veteran actor Dhritiman Chatterjee, on how American musician, Bob Dylan inspired notable Indian artists such as Anjan Dutt, Purna Das Baul, Amyt Datta, Usha Uthup, Susmit Bose, Arko Mukhaerjee, Miti Adhikari (of BBC Maida Vale Studios), Nondon Bagchi, Rahul Guha Ro (of Cassini's Division). This needs to be shortened, as it was hard to read.
His series of short documentaries on subjects of great cultural and historical significance such as the Indian classical instrument shop Hemen & Co. and the Manackjee Rustomjee Parsi Dharamshala in Kolkata, featuring music by Ustad Aashish Khan, John Barham and Shiraz Ali Khan. This reads like a dependant clause, consider Rajani has produced a series of short documentaries... and copyediting as usual.

External links

There are way too many promotional and social links here. See WP:EL.

Closing Comments

I'm sorry to say, but this article nowhere near GA status at the moment. The article has a possible copyright violation, has unsourced and awkward prose, and a severe lack of independent research and in-depth information about this person's life or career. The placement of sources in this article makes it really hard to determine close paraphrasing, and the genres in the infobox are just original research. However, some of the news and article sources I've found here are actually quite decent, and I've even found some pretty insightful infomation from their interviews and reports. I hope you take this GA review with a grain of salt, and use these suggestions to further improve the article. Good luck on your future edits! Sparkl^talk 20:41, 5 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]