Talk:Jacques Rivette/GA1
GA Review
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Reviewer: Carbrera (talk · contribs) 03:38, 23 June 2016 (UTC)
Sorry for the delay! I will be copying and pasting my review that I performed today while on an airplane from Microsoft Word. Thanks for understanding! Cheers, Carbrera (talk) 23:57, 23 June 2016 (UTC).
Lead
[edit]Paragraph 3
[edit]- Replace "He then reevaluated his career" with "He then re-evaluated his career".
- Replace "although the it has rarely been screened" with "although rarely screened".
Paragraph 4
[edit]- Insert a comma following "during the early 1960s".
1928-1950: Early life and move to Paris
[edit]Paragraph 1
[edit]- Insert a comma after "In 1948".
- Insert a comma before and after "Francis Bouchet".
- Insert a comma following "On the day of his arrival".
Paragraph 3
[edit]- Insert a comma before and after "Isidore Isou".
=== 1950-1956: Film criticism and Le Coup du Berger"
Paragraph 1
[edit]- Replace "Charbrol, Gruault, Rohmer and Jean Douchet also attended, and the group roomed together at the Biarritz Lycée dormitory for the festival." with "Charbrol, Grualult, Rohmer, and Jean Douchet also attended and roomed together at the Biarritz Lycée dormitory for the festival."
Paragraph 3
[edit]- Insert a comma after "In 1951".
- Replace "writing that they were afraid to take risks and corrupted by money." with "writing that they were afraid to take risks and were corrupted by money."
Paragraph 5
[edit]- Insert a comma after "during the summer of 1952".
=== 1957-196: Paris Belongs to Us and the French New Wave"
Paragraph 1
[edit]- Replace "submitted scripts which would become their first films" with "submitted scripts that would become their first films".
- Replace "Rivette, eager to make a film with Rossellini's help, and co-writer Gruault" with "Rivette, eager to make a film with Rossellini's help, with co-writer Gruault".
- Insert a comma after "research the project; shortly afterwards".
Paragraph 2
[edit]- Insert a comma after "In Paris Belong to Us".
Paragraph 3
[edit]- Insert a comma after "and at the 1959 Cannes Film Festival".
1962-1967: Editor of Cahiers de cinéma and The Nun controversy
[edit]Paragraph 1
[edit]- Insert a comma after "in 1962".
Paragraph 2
[edit]- Take a look at how you set up the dates "6 February 1963" and "5 March".
- Replace "but Bourseiller could not afford to produce a film version and the project was shelved." with "but Bourseiller could not afford to produce a film version, so the project was shelved."
Paragraph 3
[edit]- Insert a comma after "After several financial failures".
Paragraph 5
[edit]- Once again, take a look at how you have your dates "31 August 1965" and so forth. I'm not sure whether its stylistic or not, but typically I see it "August 31, 1965".
Paragraph 7
[edit]- Insert a comma after "Shortly afterwards".
- More dates to look at "26 July 1967".
- Replace "a young woman forced into a convent by her family and physically and psychologically tortured." with "as a young woman forced into a convent by her family, who's physically and psychologically tortured."
1968-1972: Political activism and cinematic style
[edit]Paragraph 1
[edit]- Once again, "12 February" as the date. Consider "February 12".
- Insert a comma after "In March".
Paragraph 7
[edit]- Replace "Out 1 has notoriously difficult" with "Out 1 was notoriously difficult".
1973-1982: Fantasy films and nervous breakdown
[edit]Paragraph 1
[edit]- Insert a comma after "During the summer of 1973".
Paragraph 6
[edit]- Delete the comma after "and actor Joe Dallesandro".
- Insert a comma after "Over a year after filming was completed".
1983-1991: Partnership with Marginac and increased recognition
[edit]Paragraph 4
[edit]- Insert a comma after "He enjoyed working with the four young actresses in La Bande des quatre so much".
- Insert a comma after "After several weeks of rehearsals".
Paragraph 5
[edit]- Insert a comma after "Shortly after its Cannes success".
1992-2009: Later films and retirement
[edit]Paragraph 5
[edit]- Insert a comma after "In 2002".
Paragraph 6
[edit]- Insert a comma after "In 2007".
Themes and style
[edit]Paragraph 6
[edit]- Change the tense of "even though nearly all his films revolve" to "even thought nearly all his films revolved". It matches the statement better.
Paragraph 9
[edit]- Insert a comma after "Rivette also worked repeatedly with writers and technicians".
Legacy
[edit]Paragraph 2
[edit]- Replace "Lim also saw the films influence" with "Lim also saw the film's influence".
Personal Life
[edit]Paragraph 2
[edit]- Insert a comma after "In 1960".
- Look at the date layout "21 April 2012".
Paragraph 3
[edit]- Date lay out "20 April 2012".
- Insert a comma after "In the mid-2000s".
- Replace "They married shortly after he was diagnosed with Alzheimer's," with "They married shortly after he was diagnosed with Alzheimer's."
Death
[edit]Paragraph 1
[edit]- Date lay out, "29 January 2016".
Paragraph 2
[edit]- Insert a comma after "In France".
Paragraph 3
[edit]- Date lay out "5 February 2016".
End of GA Review:
[edit]Performed a sorta–copyedit here, so I apologize for the length of the review. If there any mistakes regarding the review, I also apologize, as I was on a plane as this took place haha! On hold for seven days to allow changes to be made to the article! Thanks and good luck! Cheers, Carbrera (talk) 23:59, 23 June 2016 (UTC).
- Ack, sorry, I've forgotten about this. I'm going to try and make corrections ASAP. -- Zanimum (talk) 15:46, 29 June 2016 (UTC)