Talk:Jackie Robinson Park/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Kncny11 (talk · contribs) 03:20, 2 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Hello! I'm going to be taking a look at this GAN. Any section that I have marked with a Working tag means that I haven't finished combing through it yet, but feel free to start addressing comments as soon as they arise! Kncny11 ^(shoot) 03:20, 2 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Good Article review progress box

Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV ()

3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant ()

Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

Infobox and lede

WL Bandshell
- Added
The second paragraph is written entirely in passive voice. Two places this can be changed:
- ""The pool was built by Aymar Embury II" → "Aymar Embury II built the pool"
- "Jackie Robinson Park was designated a city landmark by the New York City Landmarks Preservation Commission in 2007." → "The New York City Landmarks Preservation Commission designated Jackie Robinson Park a city landmark in 2007."
  - Done I have fixed both of those now. Actually, more accurately, Embury designed the pool, which the WPA workers then constructed. Epicgenius (talk) 16:03, 2 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Description

replace hyphen with en dash for "west-east axis"
- Done
Along those lines, I've always heard the phrase as "east-west axis"
- Technically, it can go either way. I've encountered both of these in geographical descriptions. Epicgenius (talk) 16:03, 2 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Recreational facilities

"along the Bradhurst Avenue end ~~of the park~~" (eliminate repetition)
- Done
The names for both playgrounds are the cross street's name spelled out and in Roman numerals. This sentence reads quite awkwardly, but I'm not sure the best way to remedy that.
- I've rephrased to "The playgrounds are named after their respective cross streets, spelled out and in Roman numerals". Epicgenius (talk) 16:03, 2 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Comma after "is at 149th Street"
- Added
Not keen on the use of the word "pool" twice in the second sentence of the second para
- Removed
"its southern end it is" missing a word there, I think
- Removed "It is" should've been "is". Epicgenius (talk) 16:03, 2 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Two sentences in a row start with the phrase "The former diving pool"
- Fixed

Recreation center

WL facade
- Done
Is the brick in common bond facade the front, the rear, or a different one entirely?
- That's the material for the whole facade. I've moved that sentence. Epicgenius (talk) 16:03, 2 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Jackie Robinson is first mentioned here but not formally introduced until the next section
- Fixed I moved the sentence mentioned below to this section. Epicgenius (talk) 16:03, 2 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Paths and other structures

"black" is lowercase here and capitalized elsewhere
- Fixed I've capitalized it. Epicgenius (talk) 16:03, 2 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
The Negro Leagues are now considered major leagues, so it would be more accurate to say that he was the first Black player in the MLB.
- Added

History

Creation

Remove comma after "halfway between St. Nicholas Avenue"
- Removed I actually was trying to say that it ran between (and parallel to) St. Nicholas Ave to the west and Bradhurst Ave to the east. Epicgenius (talk) 16:03, 2 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
"and later Colonial Pool, were so named"
- Fixed
Subject/verb disagreement in the sentence starting "One such development ("Colonial Park Apartments [...] was"). I understand it's one building, can it be rephrased to make those agree?
- Done A lot of buildings in NYC which end with "Apartments" are actually just one building. It's because the "apartments" refers to the residential units in the building, rather than to separate structures. Epicgenius (talk) 16:03, 2 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
"in the early 1930s, it still retained..." to eliminate repetition of "the park"
- Fixed

Works Progress Administration renovations

Fix passive voice in the first sentence
- Fixed
"several hundred such projects"
- Fixed
move "as part of the New Deal" to after "federal agency created" -- in its current state, can be interpreted that the New Deal created the negative effects of the Depression
- Done
Repetition of "eleven/11 pools"
- Done
The Colonial Park Pool was designed with the same equipment as all the other WPA pools. Abrupt topic jump, as it currently stands.
- Doing... The pools were designed with the same equipment, which I think could indicate the pools were not overtly designed with discrimination in mind. I'm trying to determine what exactly Gutman said. Epicgenius (talk) 16:03, 2 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  - @Kncny11: I removed this sentence because the significance of this information actually wasn't mentioned in the source. Epicgenius (talk) 16:54, 2 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Decline and renovations

"and the same year the park was renamed after Jackie Robinson." → "and the park was renamed after Jackie Robinson the same year"
- Fixed
WL David Dinkins
- Added
Move [75] to the end of the sentence
- Done
Put LPC in parentheses after it's introduced, that way the acronym that comes later in the paragraph follows
- Added

References

This all looks fine

General comments

Earwig score looks good
Article is stable (less than a page of revisions total)
All images are CC and relevant
- @Kncny11: Thanks for the detailed comments. I've resolved all except one of these now - I'm trying to figure out what Gutman said, and I'm going to add a brief description of these equipment. Epicgenius (talk) 16:03, 2 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  - Epicgenius Thanks for doing all of that – looks ready to go! Kncny11 ^(shoot) 17:26, 2 April 2021 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.