Talk:Jack Stivetts/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Wizardman (talk · contribs) 14:43, 26 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I'll review this article shortly. I'll be using an extra template or two as I'm guiding another user on how to review, so this may have a bit of extra information that the article writer won't need to worry about. Wizardman 14:43, 26 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
Any prose issues will be noted below.
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
A caption for the infobox picture would be beneficial, but not a requirement.
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

Here are the issues I found:

"in minor league baseball (MiLB)" the abbreviation can be removed since it's not used later in the article.
"He led the AA in earned run average (ERA) in his first MLB," in his first MLB what?
" two of which he won more than 30." two in which fits a little better.
You have the ERA and AA spelled and abbreviated in early life, but since you do both in the lead it doesn't need to be repeated.
"his father in coal mining trade." in the coal
"Comiskey was impressed by the velocity of Stivetts' pitched," needs slight rewording.
"Stivetts was the team's opening day starting pitcher." not required, but linking to the Cardinals' opening day starters article would be nice here. Same for this one later on.
The start of the 1892 season goes into a bit much detail on the rest of the team. Trim it a little bit if you can.
"The regular season for the Beaneaters closed on October 15, with a" comma not needed.
"Several rule changes were impletement before the" were implemented
"he pitched Boston to 12–10 victory against the Spiders" Boston to a
"Stivetts (a Protestant)" early life has him as a Lutheran, and while I get the relation lay readers may be more confused, so keep consistent.
"Boston re-signed Stivetts for $2100" $2,100
"the Boston manager Selee, sent Stivetts home" no comma needed here

I will put the article on hold for a week and will pass when the issues are fixed. Wizardman 00:12, 27 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you very much for taking the time to review this. I "implemented" each of your remarks :) If you see anything else, please let me know.Neonblak ^talk - 09:01, 27 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Not a problem. Everything looks good now, so I'll pass the article. Wizardman 16:40, 27 June 2013 (UTC)[reply]