Talk:Jaan Puhvel/GA1
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Reviewer: Amitchell125 (talk · contribs) 16:53, 13 October 2020 (UTC)
I'll take this one on.
Assessment
[edit]General comments
[edit]Puhvel’s surname occurs 23 times; he 12; him 0. I would reduce the frequency that Puhvel occurs.There is a little information in the Estonian Wikipedia article (here, which might be of use.
Links
[edit]...works on Proto-Indo-European mythology and society. - society doesn’t lead to where you expect it to.Unlink Finland; Sweden; Canada; Paris (MOS:OL)....included Émile Benveniste, Georges Dumézil, Pierre Chantraine, Michel Lejeune and Alfred Ernout… - needs to be amended to something like ‘...included the linguists Émile Benveniste, Georges Dumézil, Pierre Chantraine, Michel Lejeune and the philoligist Alfred Ernout…’.Who were Stig Wikander, C. Scott Littleton, Donald J. Ward and Martin Puhvel?Link microbiologist.I’m unclear what the personal connection is with Puhvel and the people listed in the ‘See also’ section.John Greppin appears to be listed twice.{{Estonia-linguist-stub}} and {{US-linguist-stub}} should be removed from the article, as they are out of date.
Lead section / infobox
[edit]Puhvel is well known… - well known is an an example of a peacock term (see WP:PEA) and so should be avoided.Ditto numerous influential in ...of numerous influential works on….I would expand the lead section to summarise more of his personal life (escape from Estonia, education in Canada and the US, when he retired).
Early life and education
[edit]...a civil engineer by education… - it was his career/profession, not his education.- subsequently is a redundant word. I would amend ...subsequently went to study at…- to ‘... studied at…'.
Consider linking dissertation.a book under the title is redundant.
Career
[edit]Since 1958, Puhvel taught classical languages and comparative Indo-European linguistics at (UCLA)… - I would amend this to ‘Puhvel taught classical languages and comparative Indo-European linguistics at (UCLA) from 1958…’.Puhvel has retired… - do we have a date?...when its translation into Estonian was prepared. - amend to something like ‘...when the translation into Estonian was being prepared.’ to improve the prose.Puhvel has been characterized as one of the world's most notable Indo-Europeanists and Hittitologists, and one of the most prominent Estonian scholars of all time. - I would mention the author of these words, even though the text is cited.
Personal life
[edit]Puhvel is a member of the Democratic Party. - should be removed as it is not notable.
Selected works
[edit]The 10 volumes of the Hittite Etymological Dictionary do not need to be listed individually in the article.
References/Sources
[edit]Ref 2 (Bulletin of Baltic Studies) doesn’t need to be linked to Google Books, as no text is available.Studies in Honor of Jaan Puhvel - Part 1 is not needed here, as it is not referred to in the article.
On hold
[edit]I've put the article on hold for a week until 28 October to allow time for the above points to be addressed. Please contact me if you need to. Regards, Amitchell125 (talk) 16:07, 20 October 2020 (UTC)
- Thank you Amitchell125 for your very helpful edits and suggestions. Unfortunately, i was not able to determine the date of Puhvel's retirement. I have nevertheless made an attempt at modifying the article in accordance with your review. Krakkos (talk) 18:57, 20 October 2020 (UTC)
- Thanks for your work, I made a few adjustments; it looks ready. Amitchell125 (talk) 07:56, 21 October 2020 (UTC)
- Great work. Thank you so much. Krakkos (talk) 08:09, 21 October 2020 (UTC)
- Thanks for your work, I made a few adjustments; it looks ready. Amitchell125 (talk) 07:56, 21 October 2020 (UTC)