Talk:Italian battleship Benedetto Brin/GA1
GA Review
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Reviewer: Sturmvogel 66 (talk · contribs) 19:06, 19 June 2013 (UTC)
I'll get to this shortly.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 19:06, 19 June 2013 (UTC)
- Thanks Sturm, just to note, I'm going to be away for a day or two, so I won't be able to get to anything right away. Parsecboy (talk) 18:33, 22 June 2013 (UTC)
- No problem. I'm trying to finish off a couple of Japanese carrier articles this weekend anyways.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 19:33, 22 June 2013 (UTC)
- Not a requirement, but it would probably be a good thing to go in and add |0 to the conversions in the text.
- This is awkward: Fitting out work was completed over the next four years, and she was completed on
- And this should be rephrased as well: The fitting out work took so long a period primarily
- Combine these two: The Squadron was usually only activated for seven months of the year in peacetime, which was occupied with training maneuvers. They spent the rest of the year in reserve.
- Tell the reader that they were telegraph cables upfront.
- Need a first name for de Cervin.
- Photos appropriately licensed.
- No problems with DABs, or duplicate links.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 19:13, 25 June 2013 (UTC)
- Should all be fixed - let me know if any of the reworded sentences still need work. Thanks for reviewing the article. Parsecboy (talk) 17:29, 26 June 2013 (UTC)
- Adding the |0 doesn't really work for guns under 50 mm and the normal template is fine for 37 and 47 mm guns, so I went in and deleted those for you. I also tweaked the sentence about the reason for the delay in fitting out, might be worth considering consolidating them as the repetition of "Fitting out" in quick succession was awkward like I should have said. My tweak got rid of that, but may not be the best way of handling it. Feel free to alter as you see fit.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 17:42, 26 June 2013 (UTC)
- Your change seems fine to me, thanks again. Parsecboy (talk) 20:33, 26 June 2013 (UTC)
- Adding the |0 doesn't really work for guns under 50 mm and the normal template is fine for 37 and 47 mm guns, so I went in and deleted those for you. I also tweaked the sentence about the reason for the delay in fitting out, might be worth considering consolidating them as the repetition of "Fitting out" in quick succession was awkward like I should have said. My tweak got rid of that, but may not be the best way of handling it. Feel free to alter as you see fit.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 17:42, 26 June 2013 (UTC)
- Should all be fixed - let me know if any of the reworded sentences still need work. Thanks for reviewing the article. Parsecboy (talk) 17:29, 26 June 2013 (UTC)