Talk:Instant Recall/GA1

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Aoba47 (talk · contribs) 03:37, 30 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Grabbing for review. Aoba47 (talk) 03:37, 30 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Lead and infobox

I would remove the references in the lead. The information and sources should already be present in the body of the article. As a rule of thumb, references are primarily included in leads for more “controversial” bits of information.

Removed. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 05:26, 30 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

I would make the final air date clear in the lead.

Done. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 05:26, 30 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

For this part (The series premiered on), I would just say (It premiered on) for simplicity.

Done. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 05:26, 30 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

I would include information about the show’s reception in the lead.

Done. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 05:26, 30 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Please include ALT text for the infobox image.

Done. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 05:26, 30 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Gameplay

Please provide ALT text for the image.

Done. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 05:26, 30 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

For the image caption, I would include the year in which it was taken.

Done. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 05:26, 30 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

For the image caption, I think it would be more appropriate to say “a co-host” as he was not the only host of the show.

Done. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 05:26, 30 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

For this part (also features several additional main), remove “also” as it is not needed.

Done. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 05:26, 30 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

For this sentence (At first, the contestant does not know he or she is being filmed or even on the show itself.), I would use a different transition then “At first” as the previous sentence already used “first” in the phrase “with the first” so it is a little too repetitive.

Done. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 05:26, 30 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

I am not certain about the tone of this section (At the end of the scenario, one of the actors asks the contestant, "Do you like game shows?", after which Martindale appears to reveal to the contestant that he or she is on a hidden camera game show.). It reads a little too sensational for my taste, particularly the language such as “to reveal”, and I would bring the tone down to make it more appropriate for Wikipedia.

Done? Let me know if it still needs improvement on your second run-through. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 05:26, 30 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

There are a few sticky areas of prose in this section, where the ideas do not quite transition together as cohesively as they could. I would suggest doing a small copy-edit on this part with a focus on making stronger transitions between the ideas.

Done? Ditto above. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 05:26, 30 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Production

How is this part (who had previously been involved with the hidden camera show Punk’d) relevant to this particular article? Unless a source drew comparisons between Punk’d and this show, it is not really relevant here.

The reference was made in GSN's press release. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 05:26, 30 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

The phrase “Executive Producers” should not be in caps.

Fixed. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 05:26, 30 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

This part (airing eight episodes in total.) requires a citation.

Done. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 05:26, 30 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Is there any way to expand this section further? Just wanted to ask as this section is rather short.

Tried my best, again, not much out there for an eight-episode series that wasn't as heavily promoted as other GSN shows. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 05:26, 30 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Reception

I would add more context about Carrie Grosvenor to identify who she is for an unfamiliar reader.

Done. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 05:26, 30 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

I would include information on the time and day in which the show was initially broadcast.

Done. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 05:26, 30 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

See also

I am not sure if this section is necessary. It borders a little on original research, unless you have sources that make the comparisons between this show and those other two shows. I would remove this.

Removed. Oblivious, kept Hidden Agenda (both are GSN hidden-camera shows that debuted within months of each other, leading many to make comparisons. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 05:26, 30 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

References

Make sure that all of the work/publisher parameters are linked in the citations. For instance, CNN should be linked in Reference 6.

Done. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 05:26, 30 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Suggestions for further resources

Here are some suggestions for sources that may be helpful for this article (1, 2, and 3)

Added. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 05:26, 30 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Final comments

Once my comments are addressed, I will give this another read and add some more comments. Aoba47 (talk) 04:12, 30 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@Aoba47: Ready for another run-through. Many thanks again. --Bcschneider53 (talk) 05:26, 30 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

After reading through it another time, I think that it is ready for GA, so I will promote it. Good work with it! Aoba47 (talk) 14:57, 30 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.