Talk:Inspired (song)/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Cartoon network freak (talk · contribs) 23:08, 5 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

during her 2016 presidential campaign. It also includes → during her 2016 presidential campaign, and also includes (for better flow; avoid clipped sentences)

Revised, with a slightly different wording. Aoba47 (talk) 19:50, 6 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Although the release date usually doesn't come that late in most of the GAs I've seen, I see why you did it like that and it's okay

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 19:50, 6 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]

The singer's fans created a lyric video → A lyric video was created by the singer's fans (to avoid the repetition of "The" at the beginning of the sentence)

Revised with slightly different wording. Aoba47 (talk) 19:50, 6 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Link "Critical" to Music criticism

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 19:50, 6 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Infobox

ALT > There is a circle filled in by a horizontal rainbow strips. The letters "M C" and "Inspired" are included in the circle in a black font. → There is also a circle filled in by (no a here) horizontal rainbow strips, including the latters "M C" and the word "Inspired" in black font. (to avoid clipped sentences)

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 19:50, 6 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Recording and release

with assistance from Mark Ralston. Doron Dina was the → You may link the sentence with "while" to give it a better flow, but it's up to you

I do not think that "while" would make sense in this context. Aoba47 (talk) 19:50, 6 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]

It was a promotional single from her sixth studio album Younger Now (2017). → please include this bit in the June 9, 2017 release sentence (...on June 9, 2017, as a promotional single...)

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 19:50, 6 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]

"Inspired" was the second song released from the album; the first being "Malibu" → Put this bit directly after the June 9, 2017 release sentence.

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 19:50, 6 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]

the second song released from the album; the first being "Malibu" → the second release from the album after "Malibu" (saying "song" here may be wrong, because it was released as a single)

It was the second song in general released from the album. Aoba47 (talk) 19:50, 6 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Cyrus donated the profits → It may be better to say "the song's profits", so it is clear which profits are meant.

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 19:50, 6 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Composition and lyrics

04 beats per minute "with inspiration" → I don't exaclty know what you mean here with "with inspiration", and the source also does not further explain the term

I am not exactly sure what it means either, but I think it is important to include. Aoba47 (talk) 19:50, 6 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Instrumentation is provided by a piano, a fiddle, and chords → This is not all the instruments that were played for the song; please complete with the rest of the instruments played according to the album's credits

I have removed the sentence. Aoba47 (talk) 19:50, 6 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]

fiddle-prone ballad".[19] Norris wrote that → Link these two sentences with "while" for a better flow.

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 19:50, 6 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Inspired by her experience being caught → Inspired by her experience of being caught

The suggestion is not grammatically correct. Aoba47 (talk) 19:50, 6 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Funeral procession → I know there is a Wikipedia article linked, but could you explain the term to me? I just don't get what is is...

A funeral procession refers to the cars that drive to the cemetery/church during a funeral (i.e. the hearse and the family/friends). Aoba47 (talk) 19:50, 6 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]

lyrics (“We are meant for more/ With a handle on the door/ That opens up for change”) were → no need for the paranthesis

I think that the parenthesis are needed in this context. Aoba47 (talk) 19:50, 6 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]

celebrate Hilary Clinton winning → mention only her last name

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 19:50, 6 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]

with Cyrus' concerns for the environment → Isn't it about the environment?

"For" makes sense in this context. Aoba47 (talk) 19:50, 6 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Please link Clinton in the image and shortly mention what her job is

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 19:50, 6 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Reception

and wrote that Halsey's duet with Lauren Jauregui for the 2017 single "Strangers" as the superior LGBT anthem → and classified Halsey's duet with Lauren Jauregui for the 2017 single "Strangers" as the superior LGBT anthem

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 19:50, 6 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Not a huge fan of one-line paragraphs, but it's up to you

Same, but I am not sure where to put it. It would not make sense to combine it with the other paragraphs. Aoba47 (talk) 19:50, 6 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]

To have a smoother transition between the critical and commercial reception of the song, I would advise you to reword to: "Commercially, 'Inspired' peaked..."

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 19:50, 6 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Live performances

Cyrus promoted the track through live performances → I would say "several", as there really were several live performances

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 19:50, 6 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Washington, D.C. pride festival. She was the headliner for the event → Washington, D.C. pride festival, where she was the headliner for the event

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 19:50, 6 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]

she did "Inspired" and "Malibu" → I would advise you to repeat yourself with "performed" rather than using "did". It somehow sounds unencyclopedic in this context

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 19:50, 6 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]

iHeartMedia.[18][38] She dedicated the performance → iHeartMedia,[18][38] and dedicated the performance (to avoid clipped sentences)

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 19:50, 6 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Other stuff

Copy-violation

27.0% is acceptable!

Thank you! Aoba47 (talk) 19:50, 6 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]

References

As far as I checked them, the references do cover the assertations made in this article

Thank you! Aoba47 (talk) 19:50, 6 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]

No dead links, although the ref#3 does not work (at least for the moment)

Thank you! Aoba47 (talk) 19:50, 6 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Outcome

On hold — Great work with this article! Once my comments are adressed, I think it's good to go. Best regards; Cartoon network freak (talk) 18:02, 6 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for the review! I greatly appreciate your help. Please let me know if you need help with anything. Aoba47 (talk) 19:50, 6 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@Aoba47: As I agree with your responses to my comments, I am now passing this wonderful article to GA. Btw, I love how you write articles on many topics on Wikipedia (films, characters, music...). Good job! I have also nominated this article for GAN, but since it is a bit longer, you may prefer this shorter one... only if you've got time. Best regards; Cartoon network freak (talk) 20:29, 6 September 2018 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.