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Did you know nomination

[edit]
The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by AirshipJungleman29 talk 20:43, 20 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]

  • ... that Iman Mahdavi was unaware he was flying to Italy? Source: "Correction: Refugee Team story". Times Union. 2024-07-16. Retrieved 2024-07-30.
Moved to mainspace by Bsoyka (talk). Number of QPQs required: 1. Nominator has 19 past nominations.

Bsoyka (tcg) 15:41, 30 July 2024 (UTC).[reply]

  • New enough, just long enough. QPQ done. I cannot see where the Caspian is mentioned in the first source. Some of the text seems somewhat closely paraphrased, eg. "In October 2020, he feared for his life and had no choice but to leave" into "In October 2020, Mahdavi was forced to leave Iran out of fear for his life". "felt lucky to arrive in Italy" seems a bit of editorialising. Potential copyedits may reduce this below the DYK limit, however the sources do cover a bit more information about the scholarship, that it pays for training and participation, and that the scholarship did not guarantee participation, so that could be added to slightly lengthen the Olympics section. The plans to move to Moldova to continue wrestling could also be added during copyediting. Good work overall on tracking down the sources though, I wasn't able to find anything else significant in a quick look.
    On the hooks, ALT1 is a bit boring (and one of the sources does say it was common in the community, not just with his father, so that might also be included). ALT0 is an interesting premise, but probably needs to be rephrased slightly. "...as a refugee boarded a plane in Turkey without knowing the destination..." or similar. Probably also worth mentioning he is an olympian in the hook if there is space? CMD (talk) 03:00, 7 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
@Chipmunkdavis: Hey—I really appreciate the in-depth feedback!
  • Fixed the sourcing issue; the Caspian Sea specifically is mentioned here.
  • I've attempted to fix the close paraphrasing as you mentioned. (I decided to directly quote, "Luckily for me, it was Italy," to keep that info in there.)
  • I added a bit more about Mahdavi's future plans and the refugee scholarships (including using a new Olympics.com article on Mahdavi).
  • I intentionally left ALT0 vague to draw people in, but I understand if you think I made it too vague. Suggesting the following alt hooks:
  • ALT0a: ... that as a refugee Iman Mahdavi boarded a plane in Turkey, when he didn't know it would fly to Italy?
  • ALT0b: ... that as a refugee Iman Mahdavi boarded a plane in Turkey, when he didn't know its destination?
  • Also suggesting the following alt with new info I found on that Olympics.com article (legitimately feel free to tell me it's not particularly interesting—I'm not sure):
Thanks again for the review! Let me know how else I can improve here. Bsoyka (tcg) 03:42, 7 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks, that's the lucky quote fixed and that paraphrasing. I am less familiar with standard around foreign language paraphrasing, but I would reword the walking on foot sentence as well to be sure. Thanks for explaining ALT0, will leave that for the promoter to decide then. However, for ALT0a and ALT0b, he wasn't an olympic athelete at the time right? ALT2 looks nice as well. CMD (talk) 04:37, 7 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
@Chipmunkdavis: Sure! More rewording done. And I suppose you're right that he wasn't an Olympic athlete at the time, so I've removed that word from ALT0a and ALT0b above. Bsoyka (tcg) 05:26, 7 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]
I pulled out "athlete" as well.
for ALT0, ATLT0a, ALT0b, and ALT2. CMD (talk) 06:09, 7 August 2024 (UTC)[reply]