Talk:Illinois Tollway oasis/GA1
GA Review
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Reviewer: Arsenikk (talk) 23:03, 13 December 2009 (UTC)
The article has a fundamental flaw in that it fails to apply the basic principles of summary style and lead. The lead is to be a short summary of all aspects of the article, which is then covered in much more detail in the main body. In this article, the lead and the "history" section cover two completely different aspects. Most of the information available in the lead is not available in the "history" section, and important aspects of the history is not covered in the lead. At the current length, the lead should be no more than a single paragraph. The second paragraph of the lead talks exclusively about other Interstate-side oases in the country, but barely mentions the one in questions. This is a diversion that probably should be removed from the article, but a short mention may be appropriate in the history section. This information is also unreferenced.
The history section focuses on recent events and controversy. I would also like to see how these, and only these seven, oases received the rights they did. Where they grandfathered? There needs to be a section called 'facilities' or similar, that discusses the amenities and facilities available, including restaurant, retailing and fuel brands, plus any other facilities that are available. The "locations" section is difficult to compare, because all the information is crammed into a single line. Instead, convert it to a table with the items 'name', 'route', 'tollway', 'location' and 'coordinates'. This information also needs a reference (except the coordinates). Consider dropping the Illinois-suffix on the place names, since that is already understood by the article title.
Some comments about the prose:
- The article fails to mention the country (only the state). Make the first instance of 'Illinois' 'Illinois, United States' (liking the state, but no the country).
- 'US Federal' is redundant, as there is only a single federal government in the US (the country has already been established).
- In the image caption, it should be "O'Hare", not "OHare".
- I would have thought it was better to say "*from* 2003 to 2005".
- Measurements need to be converted, preferably with the {{convert}} template. While people from metric countries usually know what a foot is, they typically do not know what ' means.
- By 30' [sic], do you mean in increased height or total height after change?
- Truss should be wikilinked.
- I presume that Wilton is paying the money to ISTHA, but the sentence needs to be rewritten to make this explicit.
- Never, ever use two-letter "postal" state abbreviations, since they are completely alienating for non-Americans and even people from the US cannot keep track of them half the time. It is very likely unnecessary to need to state that Los Angeles is in California.
- Determine if Wilton Partners is notable enough for an article (if they are investing in the $100-million range and having lawsuits, they almost certainly are). In such case, create a link to them, even if it remains red.
- Chicago Tribune should be wikilinked (and of course remain in italics).
- The first sentence in the paragraph starting with "Businessmen" sounds a bit awkward; I think another verb is needed early in the sentence.
- Some of the references are formatted incorrectly. They should use the {{cite web}} or similar template, and contain at minimum a title, publisher or author and accessdate. Date and other parameters should be added if available.
- The only external link that is acceptable here is the official site.
- Image licenses are okay—however, their size is not. Never force image sizes unless you have a very particular reason (usually only maps). The top image can be larger, but should be no more than 300px. The rest should just be left at default size.
I am placing the article on hold. Arsenikk (talk) 23:03, 13 December 2009 (UTC)
Sorry for the slightly delayed reply. The article is looking a lot better today, but there are a few more small things that need to be touched up:
- Refs 3, 4, 5, 8, 9, 10, 17, 18, 19, 20 and 21 lack publisher or author information, and ref 1 is not formatted in any way. Ref 11 lacks a title.
- Mileposts need to be in metric as well; use
{{convert|18|km|mi|table=on}}
to get the conversion template to create two columns. - Could there be made a redirect from all the individual oases names (Belvidere Oasis etc.)
- The upper external links need somewhat more descriptive title (along the line of the bottom one). Remember that "web site" should be in lower case.
- I am a little uncertain about the capitalization of the title. I would have said that "Illinois Tollway Oasis" was a proper noun, and therefore should be all-caps. But perhaps you have evidence that it is a common noun? (this is a tricky rule)
- I think that oasis is a common noun, and the plural form "oases" is used to refer to multiple rest stops. Belvidere Oasis is obviously a proper noun which refers to a specific business establishment. The title of the article does not refer to any particular establishment. I took the style as I found it. Racepacket (talk) 13:38, 31 December 2009 (UTC)
- Wikilink "iPass" and write the first letter with small "i".
- Wikipedia and the Illinois Tollway both use the capital I. I have added the wikilink to the correct article. Racepacket (talk) 14:10, 31 December 2009 (UTC)
- If units of measurement is in a parenthesis, use
disp=/
in the the {{convert}} template to create a slash and avoid a double end parenthesis. - When writing suffixes to place names, such as "Los Angeles, California," there needs to be a comma (or period) after the suffix.
- The text under "locations" should probably be referenced, even if it is just a dupe of the ones from the table.
- The last sentence under "locations" definitively needs a ref.
- The lead is still too short. Find the most important information from the three main section, and add to the lead. Don't worry about duplicating information—there is nothing wrong about repeating information from the lead. See WP:LEAD.
A lot better, but still a few more things to do, so the article is still on hold. Arsenikk (talk) 10:14, 19 December 2009 (UTC)
- I am passing the article. Arsenikk (talk) 19:06, 10 January 2010 (UTC)