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GA Review

[edit]

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Adabow (talk · contribs) 06:20, 8 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]

A nice short article for me to review quickly. :P

Dablinks/ELs are clean Adabow (talk · contribs) 06:20, 8 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

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  • Infobox: no mention of cassette single later in article. Indicate the two recordings in brackets. Also 'soul' should have a lower case 's'
  • "with former and Walter Afanasieff" - missing words
  • Give either the release date of Emotions or its year in brackets - not both
  • "Lyrically, the tells" - missing word
  • "only being featured as an airplay only single in certain territories" - overuse of "only" and is not mentioned/sourced later in article
  • "Its highest peak was in the Netherlands, where it peaked at number eighty" - highest peak → only chart appearance
  • The "Additionally" is not needed
  • 34th annual Grammy Awards34th Grammy Awards
  • and on Saturday Night Live

Background and recording

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  • Link ballad
  • "said the following regarding Carey" - either change the comma to a colon or omit "the following"

Composition

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  • "slow tempo" → down-tempo
  • Link ballad above ^^^ so unlink here
  • The chord progression will not be A♭-D♭-9, as 9 is not a chord. Check the book and fix
  • Also see if the sheet music gives any info about the key signature or tempo
  • The ref given for this information is not cited properly. It links to a sheet music book, not a download
  • Does the sheet music actually verify the instrumentation and vocal techniques?
  • "According to Nickson" - who?

Critical and commercial reception

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  • Change title to 'Release and reception' and include some info about release info such as dates/formats
  • "Aside from its critical success" - remove
  • "received a very limited airplay-only release" - source?
  • You have the wrong chart here. It is actually the Single Top 100

Live performances

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  • Same thing with the Grammy linking here
  • MTV Unplugged is a TV show so should be italicised
  • I wonder whether in this article the live performances section should be placed between composition and reception? That would save on repetition.

Charts

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  • Not sure if this table is needed, with only one chart. Leave it if you want, but I would scrap it

That's all for now; on hold for seven days. Adabow (talk · contribs) 08:07, 8 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]

I've experimented with the live performances section, which makes for less confusion, IMHO. Everything else is fine, so I'm passing. Adabow (talk · contribs) 08:02, 12 April 2011 (UTC)[reply]