Talk:If I Can't Love Her/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Aoba47 (talk · contribs) 00:57, 18 May 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Grabbing for a review if that is okay with you. Aoba47 (talk) 00:57, 18 May 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Lead and infobox

This sentence (Sung by the Beast after he frightens Belle away from his castle, the character performs "If I Can't Love Her" at the end of the musical's first act as the Beast wonders how he could ever learn to love someone if he struggles to love Belle.) seems rather long and contains a lot of information. I am wondering if there is a way to either split the sentence into two or trim it down as it can be quite difficult for a reader to digest this all in one sentence.

I've shortened the sentence.--Changedforbetter (talk) 15:09, 18 May 2019 (UTC)[reply]

For this part (to allow the Beast a proper solo number), I think that “give” would be a better word choice than “allow”.

Done.--Changedforbetter (talk) 15:09, 18 May 2019 (UTC)[reply]

For this part (instead replacing it with an entirely original song for the Beast entitled "Evermore"), I do not believe “entirely” is necessary.

Removed "entirely".--Changedforbetter (talk) 15:09, 18 May 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Background

I have a question about this sentence ("If I Can't Love Her" was one of several songs written by Menken and lyricist Tim Rice for the stage adaptation.). I would assumed we know the exact number of songs that Menken and Rice wrote for the stage adaptation, so I would use the exact number rather than “several” (a new citation may be need to supported the number if either of the two references used do not go into that detail).

I agree. I've added the exact number and inserted a supporting reference.--Changedforbetter (talk) 15:09, 18 May 2019 (UTC)[reply]

For this part (Since Ashman had passed away in 1991 prior to the film's release, ), I would use “died” instead of “passed away” according to WP:EUPHEMISM.

Fixed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 15:09, 18 May 2019 (UTC)[reply]

I believe for this part (Since the musical was written in two-act structure,), there should be an “a” in front of “two-act”.

Not necessarily. I'm not sure how to describe it, but saying "written in two-act structure" here is like saying "written in jest" or "written in haste" or "written in third person".--Changedforbetter (talk) 15:09, 18 May 2019 (UTC)[reply]

For this part (Writer Linda Woolverton, who wrote the film's screenplay,), there is something a little silly by saying that the writer writes. I would revise the word choice here.

Agreed. Fixed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 15:09, 18 May 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Use in Beauty and the Beast

For this part ("If I Can't Love Her" is sometimes referred to as the Beast's only solo song in the stage musical), I would clarify who refers to the song this way. Critics? Audiences? I was a little confused by this part.

Critics added.--Changedforbetter (talk) 15:09, 18 May 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Would there be any benefit to link Lefou and Lumiere to their parts in the character list? I was just curious because in this part (such as Gaston, Lefou, and Lumiere.), only Gaston is linked. I am assuming that this is done as Gaston is the only one with an independent article, but I just wanted to raise this point with you.

You're correct, I didn't link them because their articles re-direct to the characters from Beauty and the Beast article, but it probably wouldn't hurt to link at least one. Done.--Changedforbetter (talk) 15:09, 18 May 2019 (UTC)[reply]

For this part (according to Brad Hevenor of The Independent), I would link The Independent.

Done.--Changedforbetter (talk) 15:09, 18 May 2019 (UTC)[reply]

I do not think the “relationship status” link is particularly useful so I would remove it.

Removed.--Changedforbetter (talk) 15:09, 18 May 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Composition

Move up the Variety wikilink here as this is the first time you mention the publication.

Done.--Changedforbetter (talk) 19:37, 18 May 2019 (UTC)[reply]

In the infobox, you describe the song as “operatic pop”, but I do not see that claim fully supported here. I am not sure a source saying it has an “operatic tone” fully supports the genre classification.

Removed. This was added back when I thought I would be able to find a supporting source.--Changedforbetter (talk) 19:37, 18 May 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Critical reception

In the lead, you mention this (who praised Rice's lyrics and Mann's vocal performance). It leads me to wonder if there is a way to restructure this section into paragraphs that follow this. I do not believe this is entirely necessary for a GAN, but I think this section would benefit from a stronger narrative as the first paragraph in particular can come across as a little bit of a mashup of random critics and quotes. Some structure is always nice (for further tips, you can refer to this resource: Wikipedia:Copyediting reception sections).

I've made some adjustments.--Changedforbetter (talk) 19:37, 18 May 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Covers and impact

I would add ALT text to the image.

Done.--Changedforbetter (talk) 19:37, 18 May 2019 (UTC)[reply]

I believe this part (to which it was heavily compared) needs a citation particularly for the “heavily” claim.

Removed "heavily".--Changedforbetter (talk) 19:37, 18 May 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Great work as usual, and I hope my comments are helpful. Aoba47 (talk) 01:10, 18 May 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks! I've addressed all your concerns; looking forward to your final comments Aoba47 --Changedforbetter (talk) 19:37, 18 May 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for addressing everything. I will ✓ Pass this. Aoba47 (talk) 21:53, 18 May 2019 (UTC)[reply]