Talk:Idol × Warrior Miracle Tunes!/GA2

GA Review

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Reviewer: Lee Vilenski (talk · contribs) 22:51, 28 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Hello, I am planning on reviewing this article for GA Status, over the next couple of days. Thank you for nominating the article for GA status. I hope I will learn some new information, and that my feedback is helpful.

If nominators or editors could refrain from updating the particular section that I am updating until it is complete, I would appreciate it to remove a edit conflict. Please address concerns in the section that has been completed above (If I've raised concerns up to references, feel free to comment on things like the lede.)

I generally provide an overview of things I read through the article on a first glance. Then do a thorough sweep of the article after the feedback is addressed. After this, I will present the pass/failure. I will use strikethrough tags when concerns are met. Even if something is obvious why my concern is met, please leave a message as courtesy.

Best of luck! you can also use the {{done}} tag to state when something is addressed. Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)}

Please let me know after the review is done, if you were happy with the review! Obviously this is regarding the article's quality, however, I want to be happy and civil to all, so let me know if I have done a good job, regardless of the article's outcome.

Immediate Failures

It is a long way from meeting any one of the six good article criteria -
It contains copyright infringements -
It has, or needs, cleanup banners that are unquestionably still valid. These include{{cleanup}}, {{POV}}, {{unreferenced}} or large numbers of {{citation needed}}, {{clarify}}, or similar tags. (See also {{QF-tags}}). -
It is not stable due to edit warring on the page. -

Links

Prose

Lede

Idol × Warrior Miracle Tunes! (アイドル×戦士ミラクルちゅーんず! Aidoru Senshi Mirakuru Chūnzu!) - could we get some explaination as to the translations in the brackets? To a reader that isn't used to Japanese articles it's a little confusing (I'm talking about the Japanese/hepburn) Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 12:50, 30 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
- This is commonly used in articles relating to Japan (see WP:WikiProject Japan). It's the original title and pronunciation. lullabying (talk) 15:45, 30 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  - No, I understand - I mean actually putting in the words Japanese and Hepburn, I think there's {{nihongo foot}} for that, no? Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 16:03, 31 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
    - Hmmm... I don't see that a lot with articles Wikipedia:WikiProject Anime and manga or other Japanese television articles like, for say, Kamen Rider W. What would the best way be to go about this? lullabying (talk) 17:16, 31 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]

If it's not traditional, it's fine. My best knowledge is from Japanese video games. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 22:24, 31 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]

aimed towards a female demographic between ages 2 to 6 - as important as this is, I'm not sure marketing strategy should be in the lede. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 12:50, 30 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
- How should I reword this? It seems specific enough. "Pre-kindergarten?" This show also overlaps with WP:WikiProject Anime and manga due to having a manga adaptation, and demographic is considerably important to mention. lullabying (talk) 15:45, 30 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
  - I wouldn't use the word kindergarten. It's an American phrase. I'd just say young children. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 16:03, 31 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
    - Kindergarten is used in other languages too, and "young children" seems to be really ambiguous. lullabying (talk) 17:16, 31 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
~~link idol in lede.~~ Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 12:50, 30 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
and emphasis on cuteness and natural femininity - sounds a bit puffy. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 12:50, 30 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
- I guess I'll trim down on the detail and leave this to the production section of the article. lullabying (talk) 15:45, 30 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
with in-show Japanese idol girl group Miracle² - Miracle have been denoted already, we don't need to say who they are a second time in the lede. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 12:50, 30 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
- Fixed. lullabying (talk) 17:16, 31 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Miracle²'s - this feels wrong to me. Having an apostrophy after a number gives me the chills. I've had a look [1], and I think it should be Miracle²s, but I'm hardly an expert. Might need further research. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 12:50, 30 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]

General Comments

There seems to be a few issues in the synopsis with the article not really explaining itself. It starts "he Music Kingdom contains musical treasures called Sound Jewels", but this doesn't explain what this is, nor that the series takes place in the Music Kingdom. A little bit of exposition would be helpful in this part. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 09:17, 30 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
- I tried to give more detail. lullabying (talk) 17:16, 31 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
This section in general could do with expansion. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 09:17, 30 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
- I tried to add more information while respecting word counts of MOS:TVPLOT and avoiding WP:FAN. lullabying (talk) 17:16, 31 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
When it says that the group is signed to "fictional label", we need to either link to the word, or rewrite as "fictional record label" to avoid confusion. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 12:54, 30 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
- Fixed.
Miracle² (stylized miracle² and pronounced "miracle miracle") - if the prose is already stylized it doesn't need to be explained in brackets as well. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 09:17, 30 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
- It's stylized with a lower capital, which is discouraged via WP:ALLCAPS. lullabying (talk) 17:16, 31 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
The list of characters main article could probably be placed in a different section. Currently it talks about the plot, which I suppose is important for the synopsis, but maybe a paragraph somewhere in the article about how many series/episodes would be a good idea that could have the main article tag in that place. Just an idea. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 09:24, 30 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Why does Hikari have a surname, but none of the others? Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 13:01, 30 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
- If you're referring to "Akari and Hikari Shiratori" in the summary, this is correct grammar. They are siblings and share the same last name. lullabying (talk) 17:16, 31 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Some of these proper nouns should be either ital or speech marked. Thinks like "final mode". Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 13:01, 30 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
- I don't understand why. Can you elaborate more? Italicized usually indicates a title, which they are not. lullabying (talk) 17:16, 31 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
The bit here in characters is more plot than anything. Consider making this a subsection of premise Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 13:01, 30 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
- I took out some information that was too plot detail-y. Personally, I think that's what the episode summaries article is for. lullabying (talk) 17:37, 31 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Tamara Tony's YouTube - reword to avoid WP:SEAOFBLUE Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 13:01, 30 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
- Fixed. lullabying (talk) 17:21, 31 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
The list of social media is not important here. Seems like normal adverting to me Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 13:01, 30 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
- I took out the list of social media but kept YouTube because it seemed important to the broadcast of the show. I hope that's a better alternative. lullabying (talk) 17:21, 31 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Everything else seems pretty good. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 13:01, 30 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Notes & References

GA Review

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

Comments

Automated note - If you fancy returning the favour, I have outstanding GA nominations that require reviewing at WP:GAN. I'd be very grateful if you were to complete one of these, however it's definately not manditory. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)}
Sorry you had such a poor time of the reviewing for this one. I've added my comments. I don't think there is all that much. If you can clear them up, it's a good chance of the pass. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 13:02, 30 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]
There's a couple things outstanding, but looking back, they seem like my own preference, than actually wrong with the article. I'll pass for now. Let me know if you would still like me to explain the issues I had above. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 22:26, 31 October 2019 (UTC)[reply]