Talk:Idlewild South/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Ritchie333 (talk · contribs) 18:47, 3 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

I suppose I should really complete the set - after this, all of the first five Allman Bros albums will be at GA. Let me stick on the 1970 Fillmore East video, crank up the volume a bit, and off we go....

Lead

"which barely made a dent on pop charts" - suggest "which had little commercial success"
Off-topic, Layla and Other Assorted Love Songs is one of my favourite albums ever and one on my list of "things to improve to GA status when I've got the time and sources"
There is no mention of Eric Clapton or Layla in the body of the article - just the lead
Tom Dowd is notable, so should have a link
"again failed to connect commercially" - "connect" is a strange choice of word

Background

"had committed their first studio performance to tape" - just say "had recorded their first album", and then list The Allman Brothers Band explicitly, rather than an easter egg link.
"acclimate" - a strange word, do you mean "acclimatise"?
"the South" - this is linked to Southern United States, but I'm not sure the link is necessary, we already know the band comes from Georgia.
"Oakley's wife rented a large Victorian home on 2321 Vineville Avenue in Macon and the band moved into what they dubbed "the Big House" in March" - I assume you meant the band moved into the house in March, but as it's currently written it could be misread as them giving the house its nickname in March, which I assume is not what's intended.
"to produce their sophomore effort" - "to produce the album" will do
"Sandlin was very embarrassed" - I think we can probably lose the "very"

Recording and production

"They were working 300 days a year" - I'll AGF that's what the source says, but that's more or less 6 days a week with the odd holiday. Gosh.
"During short breaks they would receive from shows, they would reconvene with Dowd to continue work" - simpler to say "They reconvened with Down during short breaks from shows"
Do we have any record of any notable sessions that Duane did during this time?
"More songs were recorded, but only "Please Come Home" made the record" - to avoid repetition, suggest "More songs were recorded, but only "Please Come Home" was released"
The last paragraph only has one sentence, which can be discouraged per MOS:LAYOUT. It might sit better earlier on as an introduction to the overview of recording.

Composition

The first quotation from Betts is a bit long, could it be paraphrased instead?
"featuring Duane on slide" - put slide guitar in full
"and Thom Doucette on harmonica; Douchette was an old friend of Oakley's from their time in Florida" - suggest "and Oakley's friend Thom Doucette on harmonica"
"while getting high with Allman" - this is a bit vague, maybe "socialising" would be better? (Sorry, I know this is a bugbear of mine to only mention drug taking if well sourced and essential for understanding the narrative)
" the duo broke in and recorded a quick demo" - but presumably this was re-recorded with the band later? The mention of Duane overdubbing acoustic guitar makes it non-obvious what's going on
""In Memory of Elizabeth Reed" was penned by Betts for a woman he was involved with in Rose Hill," ... "The song is named after a headstone Betts saw at the Rose Hill Cemetery". I'm confused, which one of these reasons is it?
"Considerable legend developed about what Betts was doing at the time" - "Considerable legend" from whom exactly?
"Joel Dorn" is already linked earlier

Title

Could the quotation be trimmed down and paraphrased?
The caption on the picture should make it obvious that it's the "Idlewild South" being referred to

Notes

The "Freeman 1995" citations should say "Freeman 1996"

Summary

There are no significant problems here, so I'll put the review on hold pending resolution of what's listed above. Ritchie333 ^(talk) ^(cont) 18:51, 3 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Response

Thanks again Ritchie! Thanks for helping get the bulk of the Allmans' classic material to GA status. As always, a few notes:

Acclimate is the word used in the book. I suppose it means get them used to the record industry, although I’m not sure why they needed it, considering Duane and Gregg’s past work.

Well, not all whizkid session players turn out to be Jimmy Page. I think you'd still be better off picking a different word, though. Ritchie333 ^(talk) ^(cont) 16:48, 4 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Done. Saginaw-hitchhiker (talk) 17:36, 6 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

That’s a direct quote about 300 days, but I’d believe it for the most part (maybe a little less days, that seems like a rounded number or embellishment haha). Seems like in 1970 the ABB played anywhere and everywhere they could.

Well if it's sourced, then it can stay. It is within the grounds of feasibility, just I'd go mad if I did that many gigs. Ritchie333 ^(talk) ^(cont) 16:48, 4 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

He was involved with the woman, but named the song Elizabeth Reed after the headstone. I suppose that could be confusing.

Okay. I think the reason I'm confused here is that how can an instrumental without lyrics be "about" anything? Ritchie333 ^(talk) ^(cont) 16:48, 4 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

I've adjusted the language to explain that it was "inspired" by it. Saginaw-hitchhiker (talk) 17:36, 6 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Considerable legend […] some originated by a possibly put-on interview Duane Allman gave Rolling Stone. I feel like that succinctly covers who originated the rumor, although I suppose it could be stated a little clearer.

I think my main point was it's not obvious what the rumor was - sex, drug-taking, handling stolen goods, secretly listening to Merle Haggard? Ritchie333 ^(talk) ^(cont) 16:48, 4 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

I'm not quite sure how to explicitly state that the rumor involved intercourse, without feeling forced within the prose... I've left it as is again. Saginaw-hitchhiker (talk) 17:36, 6 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

You mentioned that Clapton and Layla is mentioned in the lead but nowhere else, and you also asked if there were any notable sessions by Duane. I’ve added a short segment to the end of the recording session that details the Layla stuff.

"Clapton invited Allman to join the group" - this would read better as "Clapton invited Allman to formally join the group" or "Clapton invited Allman to join the group full time". He'd "joined" them in a sense of a special guest, and was a catalyst for the recordings, but that's different to being a full time member." Ritchie333 ^(talk) ^(cont) 16:48, 4 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks again. Saginaw-hitchhiker (talk) 15:48, 4 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Okay, I think we're there, so I'll pass this. Well done for getting all of these album articles to GA! Ritchie333 ^(talk) ^(cont) 19:39, 6 October 2014 (UTC)[reply]