Talk:Iced Out Audemars/GA1
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Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 10:52, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
Good Article review progress box
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I will review this soon, per your request... a bit ironic since I originally nominated it for deletion. --K. Peake 10:52, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
Infobox and lead
[edit]- Infobox looks good!
- The remix release sentence should be swapped with the drill and lyrics sentence for the correct order; you can have the final para dedicated to the remix
- "A remix that" → "A remix of the song that"
- "Musically a drill track, the lyrics" → "A drill track, the lyrics"
- "finer things in life and expressing their love for Dior and" → "finer things and expressing their love for Dior, among"
- Remove the chorus and outro parts, as this is too specific for the lead
Background and release
[edit]- "known their real names" → "known under their respective real names of"
- "Khadafi Julio. It was written alongside" → "Khadafi Julio, alongside"
- Remove repetition of Khadafi Julio under writing credits
- Why is the additional producer not mentioned here and in the lead? Bare in mind, it's not like the infobox where you can't add them.
- "debut deluxe studio album," → "debut studio album"
- Remove release year in brackets, as it is specified later on in the sentence
- Introduce Lil Wayne as being a rapper
Music and lyrics
[edit]- "during the chorus" → "during both the chorus" with the pipe
- "He pays homage to" → "Lil Wayne pays homage to" but this should start a new para in the section, as it and the following sentences total up to four
- "we gone tomorrow"." → "we gone tomorrow."" per MOS:QUOTE on full quotes
- Pipe Wu-Tang to Wu-Tang Clan
- Pipe pitched to Pitch (music)
Critical reception
[edit]- "[Pop Smoke]] would" → "[Pop Smoke] would"
- "Complex's Jessica McKinney opined that" → "McKinney opined that"
- "while The Fader's Jordan Darville wrote that Lil Wayne added" → "while Darville wrote the rapper contributes" to avoid overusing his stage name
- "Jon Powell for Revolt commented that Lil Wayne" → "Jon Powell, for Revolt, commented that he"
- "and said "New York's" → "and said that "New York's"
Credits and personnel
[edit]- Pipe Bashar Jackson to Pop Smoke
- Swap featured artist and songwriter
- Swap songwriting and programming
References
[edit]- Copyvio score looks very good at 23.7%!
- Make sure all of these are archived by using the tool
- HypeBeast → Hypebeast on ref 12
Final comments and verdict
[edit]- On hold until all of the issues are fixed! --K. Peake 14:16, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
Kyle Peake thanks a lot for the review. Only a few more articles to go! The Ultimate Boss (talk) 20:44, 19 March 2021 (UTC)
- The Ultimate Boss ✓ Pass now and there were some mistakes but they were not the changes themselves being missed so I copyedited the fixes in, plus good luck with the GT! --K. Peake 21:57, 19 March 2021 (UTC)