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Talk:I Heard It Through the Grapevine/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: GreatOrangePumpkin (talk · contribs) 09:08, 21 September 2012 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:

Ok, overall very nice. Here are a few nitpicks:

  • Not so tragic, but perhaps "and made famous in a Marvin Gaye version released as a single in October 1968 on Motown's Tamla label." Kürbis
Done. SilkTork ✔Tea time 11:35, 5 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • You use the word "version" a lot in the lead alone. Kürbis
Lordy there were a lot of versions, weren't there! And a good number of recordings as well. Adjusted. See what you think. SilkTork ✔Tea time 11:46, 5 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • Sometimes you use semicolons incorrectly. For example, "; with a slightly different take," is not an independent clause, nor is there a conjunction in between. I replaced some I found unnecessary with a comma.Kürbis
Thanks for doing that. I've checked through, and the existing semicolons seem fine. SilkTork ✔Tea time 11:51, 5 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • Isn't "though" placed at the end of a sentence? I replaced "; though," with "however Kürbis
Thanks. I've looked through and the existing "though"s seem ok. SilkTork ✔Tea time 12:19, 5 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
I have no particular preference for doing it that way - I'm just following what I saw - as in the article on the album in question: Cloud Nine (The Temptations album), and in sources which discuss it: [1], [2], [3]. SilkTork ✔Tea time 12:27, 5 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • "with the comment that Whitfield had recorded the song with a number of artists with different arrangements, and that with Marvin Gaye he had a "golden idea" when he set the song "in a slower, more mysterious tempo".[22]" - too many "with" Kürbis
Amended. SilkTork ✔Tea time 12:33, 5 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
  • "about the death of their college friend, and then travels to his funeral; the song serving in an extradiegetic fashion to both unite the main characters' friendship and to locate it nostalgically for the viewer.[31][32][33]" - I changed this to "about the death of their college friend, and then travels to his funeral; the song serves in an extradiegetic fashion to both unite the main characters' friendship and to locate it nostalgically for the viewer.[31][32][33]" because "the song serving..." is not an independent clause. --Kürbis (✔) 10:25, 5 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks. SilkTork ✔Tea time 12:35, 5 October 2012 (UTC)[reply]
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