Talk:IFK Kristianstad/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Sportsfan77777 (talk · contribs) 07:59, 6 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

I plan on reviewing this article later this week. My preliminary comment is to add sub-section headers to the history section. Sportsfan77777 (talk) 07:59, 6 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Overall

Some recurring problems with the prose I see are...

Overuse of the years. For example, something like... "IFK hired coach Boss in the year 2150. In the 2150-2151 season, they finished in second place." It would be better for the second sentence to read something like "In Boss's first year, ..." without stating the year 2150 twice.
Listing of opponents (most commonly in the SM). It is okay to mention who IFK played in the final, or who eliminated them if they lost in an earlier round. But it isn't WP:SUMMARY-style to say "IFK made it to the final by defeating Team A, Team B, and Team C. They won the final against Team D." However, you can say something like "IFK made it to final, defeating cross-town rival Team B in the first round along the way. They then won the final against Team D." And also, if it really is interesting that they defeated Team A, Team B, and Team C (e.g. maybe they are all rivals of IFK), then you can mention all three, but you should clarify why they are worth mentioning. In most instances, that is probably not the case.
Too many scores and series results. Like with the opponents, most scores of individual matches and series results are probably too much detail and not worth mentioning. At first glance, this doesn't look like as big of a problem as the two above. Scores in a final are always okay. If you want to mention a series result like 3–2 because it was close, write it out in the prose: something like... "In the semi-finals, IFK won a close series against Team X by three games to two." In some places, you already do a better job at this than in other places.

All fixed. BlueSwede92 (talk) 17:33, 12 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@BlueSwede92: My first impression is that overall the article looks like it's on track. I left a first set of comments on some general issues. Sportsfan77777 (talk) 21:38, 11 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@BlueSwede92: Okay, looks better now! I added comments on the History section. Most of them are minor and very specific.

The most major comment I have content-wise is that there are times when you don't talk about the accomplishments of the players enough. This isn't so relevant when the club is struggling, but I would suggest mentioning the key players when the club is doing well. Related to this, the times the article does mention players, it almost always only mentions their names. You can also add things like what positions they played when it is relevant. Or better yet, if several players combined to form a good defense or a good offense. Also, you can mention if a player led the league in goals (or something else important).

The article on Arsenal F.C. is a good example in how it doesn't introduce players too often, but still introduces them with detail. For example, in the 1988–2018 section, it states (1) "By 1988, new signings Nigel Winterburn, Lee Dixon and Steve Bould had joined the club to complete the "famous Back Four" led by existing player Tony Adams."; and later (2) "Accumulating key players from Wenger's homeland, such as Patrick Vieira and Thierry Henry, Arsenal won a second League and Cup double in 1997–98 and a third in 2001–02."; (3) "The club had not gained a major trophy since the 2005 FA Cup until 17 May 2014 when, spearheaded by then club-record acquisition Mesut Özil, Arsenal beat Hull City in the 2014 FA Cup Final, coming back from a 2–0 deficit to win the match 3–2." And those three instances are the only player mentions in the entire four-paragraph sub-section.

You already do this well in some places like "The 1970s was the first time that the club featured a significant number of players from outside the Kristianstad area, including Thomas Persson, Einar Jakobsson and Lars-Göran Jönsson." The place where it is missing the most is in the Second Golden Era, where you also have the issue of listing too many playoff results again.

Here are the more specific comments:

Early years

The club previously had sections in field handball, football, cycling, athletics and gymnastics as well as women's handball, but is currently only a men's handball club. <<<<==== Mention how long IFK has only been a handball club. (Do you know the answer to that?) Also, remove the word currently (see WP:RELTIME).

Done.

A Provincial Championship was first played in 1932. IFK Kristianstad won the tournament in 1933 and repeated the success in 1935. ===> A Provincial Championship for the club in Scania was first played in 1932, which IFK Kristianstad won in 1933 and 1935. (connect and condense, and also clarify Scania)

Done.

Kristianstad reached the top division ==> In the league, Kristianstad reached the top division (separate from SM discussion in previous sentence)

Done.

They were promoted again in 1939 and finished second in the league in 1939–40. ==> They were promoted again in 1939 and finished second in the league that year. (usual problem)

Done.

First golden era

From 1946 to 1957, Kristianstad finished top 4 in the league for 11 consecutive seasons.[10] Behind this success was a core of players from the club's youth system, including Player A. <<<==== if this group included one or two notable players, add them at the end of the sentence. if not, ignore.

Done.

whereas in SM their title defence ended in the semi-finals against IFK Lidingö ==> but their title defence in SM ended in the semi-finals against IFK Lidingö. ("whereas" isn't the right word.)

Done.

In 1954, three Kristianstad players (Moberg, Sjunnesson and Carl-Erik Stockenberg) were members of the Swedish team that won the World Championship. (clarify that it was Sweden's first world championship title)

Done.

Title drought

In 1972, Kristianstad players Sten Olsson and Persson were included in Sweden's squad for the Olympics.[28] Coached by Leif Rosenberg, Kristianstad finished second in the league in 1974–75 and qualified for the playoffs.[8][10] <<<== Do you know if Olsson and Persson were still playing for IFK in 1974-75? That would be a great way to connect these two sentences. Right now, there doesn't seem to be a good transition between them.

Olsson did, Persson didn't.

each of the two Division 1 leagues ===> clarify that these are second-tier leagues (I think that's what they are?)

Done.

However, they lost the quarterfinal series against IFK Skövde.[29] In 1996–97, now with Dragan Mihailovic as coach,[8] they finished fifth in the spring league,[10] but lost the quarter-final series against Guif. ==> However, they lost the quarterfinal series.[29] In 1996–97, now with Dragan Mihailovic as coach,[8] they finished fifth in the spring league,[10] but again lost the quarter-final series. (don't mention the teams. add the word "again" in the second sentence)

Done.

The relegation was followed ===> This relegation was followed

Done.

Bankruptcy was a very real possibility for the club. <<<==== This sentence doesn't sound very encyclopedic, because it's not attributed to anyone. Did the board claim they might go bankrupt? Or did financial analysts (or someone outside of the club) warn this might happen?

In the article (from a Swedish national newspaper) used as source for the passage the author says this as "narration", and IFK's chairman at the time (not the same one who was charged) says it in an interview in a different part of the article.

Start of resurgence

In 2007–08, Kristianstad finished third ==> In his first year, Kristianstad finished third (usual problem)

Done.

In 2009, the club hired club director Nikolas Larsson ==> In 2009, Kristianstad hired Nikolas Larsson as the club director.

Done.

and (add "narrowly" here) avoided relegation after finishing second in the relegation league both times.

Done.

In 2011–12, they finished sixth in the league and qualified for the playoffs. <<<=== Before this sentence, start the paragraph with something like "Over the next four seasons, Kristianstad would improve their finishing position each year."

Done.

However, they had no chance in the final against Sävehof, who won by 29–21. <<<=== This is not encyclopedic, haha. How about: "However, they lost in the final against heavily-favored Sävehof, who won by 29–21." (assuming Savehof were the favorites)

Done.

In 2012–13, Kristianstad participated in the EHF Cup. <<<=== Mention that the EHF Cup is a European competition. Also, mention that this was their first time participating. (Is that true?)

Done.

They went on to lose the final against Drott by 28–27. ===> They went on to lose the final against Drott in a very close match by 28–27.

Done.

They finished second in the league ===> Meanwhile, they finished second in the league for the first time since 1975

Done.

Second golden era

General comments

This section could use a topic sentence. Note at the beginning that from 2014 on, they won the league four years in a row. Also, mention right away that defeated Alingsås in the final for three consecutive years.

Done.

Related to that, once you make that change above, some of this section should be condensed. You can group the first three finals in one sentence, and add that the first one was the closest. You can also get rid of most, if not all of the QF and SF results.

Done.

Too many sentences in this section start with the word "they" (I think if you condense the section, that will help solve this problem.)

Done.

Aside from mentioning one player played in the Olympics, you don't talk about any of the accomplishments of the players. I imagine they must have had some league leaders in goals or something if they won the league each year.

Actually, no IFK player has been close to leading the league in goals during this time. (The likely reasons are that they have rotated their squad a lot in the regular season due to the CL, and that they distribute their finishing more evenly between the players than some other teams.)

If the league aligns with the Champions League schedule (both start in the fall and in the spring, right?), I would suggest describing the league result first and then the Champions League result.

The reason I started doing it this way is that the CL group stage ends before the regular season ends and before the playoffs (which is the most interesting part of the domestic season) start. If you think it's better the other way around, I can change it.

Specific comments

In 2015–16, they played in the Champions League. ==> In 2015–16, they qualified for the Champions League, where only one spot is allocated to the Handbollsligan for the SM winners.

Done, but I changed Handbollsligan to Sweden since the name of the league hasn't been consistent during this time.

They finished seventh in their group and were eliminated on head-to-head record behind Montpellier. <<=== Clarify that the top six advance.

Done.

Domestically, they won 30 of 32 matches in the regular season and won the league by 16 points (2 points for a win) ===> Domestically, they won 30 of 32 matches in the regular season and won the league by 16 points, eight wins ahead of the second place Team X. (show the explanation of points instead of telling it; also fill in Team X.)

Done.

In 2016–17, Kristianstad participated in the Champions League again and were again placed in the top 16. ===>>> In the 2016–17 Champions League, Kristianstad were again placed in the top 16. (If they won the league, we already know they will be in the Champions League.)

Done.

I'll hold off on the other sections for now.

@BlueSwede92: The history section looks pretty good. I did a little copyediting. You can check what changes I made. Here are my comments on the remaining sections:

Lead

After the pronunciation, add "also IFK Kristianstad" (like in AFC Ajax, or you can do something like in FC Barcelona)

Done.

From 1946 to 1957 they were a consistent top team, winning golds in 1948, 1952 and 1953. ===>>> From 1946 to 1957 they were a consistent top team, finishing in the top four every year and winning three golds. (It doesn't sound like they were consistent if you just say they won the gold 3 out of 12 years, and don't mention the other years.)

Done.

Does the team have an obvious all-time best coach or best player? If yes to either or both, they could be added to the lead. (but it's not required)

No to both.

You say the recent director played a big role in the club's recent reversal. Do you want to add him to the lead (along with possibly a comment on the recovery from the early 2000s financial trouble)?

Since no other individuals are mentioned in the lead, I don't think he is worth mentioning specifically.

History

Move the finishing positions to the records and statistics section.

Done.

I would move the first picture in the Second Golden Era to the 2007–14, and re-caption it as "A match between Kristianstad and HK Malmö in the new Kristianstad Arena" to make it look more like it belongs there.

Done.

Colours and crest

It is unknown why they use this colour. ===> It is unclear why they use this colour. (someone knows...)

Done, but I'm not sure someone knows since the person(s) who originally chose the colour are probably no longer alive.

Arenas

Put a citation after the first paragraph. It can be the same one as the next paragraph, if that makes sense.

Done.

Supporters and rivalries

Good

Current squad

Since there's no official format for WP:HANDBALL rosters (???), good...

Transfers

I think MOS:FLAG discourages the use of flags next to the team names.

Done.

Copying WP:FOOTBALL, put the transfer teams in italics and say (from Team A) or (to Team B)

Done.

Player records

Remove Allsvenskan/Elitserien/Handbollsligan from the titles

Done.

Add a footnote saying something like only top flight matches are included.

Done.

What is the reason for the lack of a pattern in some of the citations?

The players with citations after the years are players who had more than one spell at IFK, since the main sources only give the first and last years the players played for IFK in the top division. The players with citations after their names are players who have made appearances for IFK after the main sources were printed.

Records and statistics

This section should go before the Players section.

Done.

The chart of finishing positions belongs here. You can make it really big like in Arsenal F.C.#Statistics and records, but you don't have to.

Done.

Organisation

Good

Technical staff

Good

Notable coaches

Good

Championships

Good

League

Good

European record

Good

Overall

All of the images are freely available.
All of the links work!
No plagiarism detected.

Overall, I don't see anything major.

Looks good. Passed! Sportsfan77777 (talk) 16:36, 15 August 2018 (UTC)[reply]