Talk:Hurricane Shary/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk)

I can help you with this review, since we really need to get it done. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 13:59, 6 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]

The first problem I see with the article is this sentence: "Unfavorable conditions subsequently took effect, and Shary quickly began to lose tropical characteristics"

How do Unfavorable conditions subsequently take effect? It should be worded something like, "However, the storm began to move into an unfavorable environment, and Shary quickly began to weaken."

I put something more fitting. ★ Auree (talk) 18:22, 6 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]

In the first part of the Meteorological history, you linked convection, which had already been linked in the lede. I'd de-link one of them. Also, can you find another word for convection, its used multiple times in the article.

As you mention, convection appears multiple times in the article. Having them linked once in different sections shouldn't be too big of a problem. I've explained what convection is; if I alternate between synonyms too much, it could confuse the reader, which seems like more of a problem than repetitive words. Nevertheless, I reworded some parts slightly, though I don't see what else I can do to resolve the repetitiveness. ★ Auree (talk) 18:22, 6 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Instead of using NHC so much, why don't you alternate between that and "organization". "The organization also noted that Shary would be a relatively short-lived tropical cyclone due to a forecast merge with a Cold Front in the next day or two." Instead of saying day or two, you could use "within the next 48 hours.", which would really help.

Fixed. ★ Auree (talk) 18:22, 6 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]

In the Preparations and Impacts section, you mention this sentence: "The Causeway, a low-lying bridge that connects St. David's Island to the mainland, was to be shut down at 7:00 p.m. local time on October 29." Is there a reference for that?

It's stated in this one. "... the Government also announced that the Causeway, a low-lying bridge linking the east end, including the airport, to the rest of the island, will close at 7 p.m." ★ Auree (talk) 18:22, 6 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Once you fix those issues, it should be an article of GA quality. I'm not the reviewer so I can't pass it or fail it or put it on hold, but I will talk to the primary reviewer about it.

Thanks for the secondary review! ★ Auree (talk) 18:22, 6 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Seeing that you fixed the issues that I relayed to you the other day, and I was passed on to primary reviewer, I have passed this article. :) TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 23:20, 9 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for the review, TropicalAnalystwx13! ★ Auree (talk) 23:51, 9 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]