Talk:Hurricane Olivia (1975)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Cyclonebiskit (talk) 17:11, 2 March 2011 (UTC)

I'll be reviewing this article shortly, just getting things set up first. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 17:11, 2 March 2011 (UTC)

• Second and third sentences of the lead start with "It..."
• Last two sentences of the lead start with "The hurricane..."
  • I think I fixed the above two, but I fixed it assuming the complaint was two sentences in a row beginning with the same word(s). If this wasn't right, feel free to revert me. Ks0stm ^(T•C•G) 18:00, 2 March 2011 (UTC)
• Link circulation to Low-pressure area (I'm assuming)
  • Linked. Ks0stm ^(T•C•G) 18:00, 2 March 2011 (UTC)
• "The circulation became much better defined the next day, and on October 23 Olivia turned northeastward, attaining hurricane status that evening." - Redundancy/time confusion. You state the next day (following October 22) then state on October 23. To me, that reads as if there is a day between the two.
  • I think I've fixed this. Ks0stm ^(T•C•G) 18:00, 2 March 2011 (UTC)
    • Double fix resulted in grammatical errors, corrected them. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 16:28, 3 March 2011 (UTC)
• "Further intensification occurred, and around 0500 UTC on October 25 Olivia made landfall on Mazatlán, Sinaloa with peak winds of 115 mph (185 km/h), with gusts to 140 miles per hour (230 km/h)..." - with peak winds...with gusts. Slight repetition, better to reword it.
  • Reworded. Ks0stm ^(T•C•G) 18:00, 2 March 2011 (UTC)
• "As Olivia moved ashore, it produced locally heavy rainfall peaking at 7.28 in (185 mm) in Pueblo Nuevo, Durango." comma after rainfall
  • Inserted. Ks0stm ^(T•C•G) 18:00, 2 March 2011 (UTC)
• "...although precipitation of around 1 in (25 mm) reached as far south as Michoacán." - How far is this from where the center was?
• "Olivia is one of only three major hurricanes on record to strike Mazatlan, the others being the 1943 hurricane, as well as another in 1957; in addition Hurricane Tico in 1983 came close." - close to what?
  • Clarified, but I don't think my wording was exactly ideal so this might still need some work. Ks0stm ^(T•C•G) 18:00, 2 March 2011 (UTC)
• In the first sentence of the last paragraph, Mazatlán is missing the á.
  • Fixed. Ks0stm ^(T•C•G) 18:00, 2 March 2011 (UTC)
• Last paragraph seems out of order; "Three days after...Immediately...The day after
  • I believe I have fixed this. Ks0stm ^(T•C•G) 18:00, 2 March 2011 (UTC)

Aside from these issues, the article is good. I'll pass it once they've been addressed. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 17:23, 2 March 2011 (UTC)

• Sorry to Hurricanehink and Cyclonebiskit, as this appears to be the second time I've hijacked a GAN involving you two, but I think I have fixed most of the issues. The only ones needed fixing or improvement in my opinion are the one I didn't do anything with and the two where I don't think my wording was ideal. Ks0stm ^(T•C•G) 18:00, 2 March 2011 (UTC)
  • Thanks Ks0stm. I think I got the remaining things. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 21:07, 2 March 2011 (UTC)
    • Alright, everything appears to be in order now. I'm passing the article, well done. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 16:28, 3 March 2011 (UTC)